Author: Mary Ann Johnson

From the Archive – Panoramic Sugar Eggs Your Family Can Make

My Colorado Grands

I’ve taught hundreds of children to make sugar eggs. I taught two groups of kindergartners every year for over 15 years. I taught children how to make sugar eggs in Girl Scouts, community groups, and for the city in Laurel, MT. I traveled to Colorado to help over ninety children in my grands school classes. I flew to Washington, where more grands lived and helped many other children, do the same. It has become an Easter tradition in our family, and traditions matter.

Despite having made hundreds of these eggs for friends and family, I had never made one for myself. So, one year, I made a very large one for the center of my basket (a flat, flower-gathering type basket) and surrounded it with 24 small eggs. It was gorgeous and a real conversation piece the whole Easter Season. I enjoyed that basket of eggs.

When Easter was over, I carefully set the egg-filled basket into my cedar chest stored in our garage. The next Easter, I went to the garage and pulled out the basket. It was in perfect shape. It was as delightful and beautiful as I had remembered. I was excited to display it again in our home.

Then I picked up one of the small eggs and looked inside. NOTHING! It was empty because the bottom had been licked out. Hard to believe, isn’t it? I checked every egg, including the very large center egg. Every egg was empty. I have since thought about how many secret licks and how many weeks it took to empty all those eggs. To this day, the culprit has not confessed, although all the suspects are between 35 and 55. Every Easter, I am reminded of this family experience, and I laugh about it.

The Perfect Easter Experience!

He is risen

Isn’t that a perfect family Easter story? The eggs were empty!! Mary Magdeline went to the tomb, and it was empty!! Jesus was not there; he had risen. What a glorious message and event that thrills the hearts of Christians.

This sugar egg project is perfect for a family. It takes very few supplies, and even a two-year-old can do it with help. I know because I’ve helped many 2-year-olds. : ) Remember that only adults care about the end result; children adore the process. So let them have a free hand, helping only when necessary, knowing that, however they look when finished, your children will be thrilled.

Sugar Egg Recipe and Directions

1. Place 2 cups of sugar and 3 tsp. of water in a zip-lock type bag. You can color the Easter eggs with food coloring for a tinted shell by adding a few drops of coloring to the water before you add it to the sugar. Rub the bag between your hands until all the sugar is moist like damp sand. You don’t want any dry particles, as they flake away when the egg is done. You don’t want it too wet, or it takes too long to dry. I share with the children why there is light inside the egg. We discuss the word translucent. I tell them there are spaces between the grains of sugar that let in light. We talk about why you wouldn’t want to completely cover the top of the egg with frosting or decorations. Just know that some children still will!

2. Pack the sugar into the two halves of an egg mold and scrape the top off with a knife to make it level. Turn quickly onto waxed paper. Children over five can do this part of the process. They will mess up a few times, but will eventually get an uncracked shell. If you’re working with a group of young children, it’s better to have the shells premade. It lessens your and their frustration.

3. Take a piece of thread and make it tight between your fingers. Slice off the tip of your egg to form an opening. With the point of a paring knife, scoop out just a bit of sugar to create a small cave-like look to the opening. This prevents the front opening from hardening too much while the eggshell dries.

4. If you’re making the shells ahead of time, you will be able to begin scraping out the sugar to create a shell after about an hour and a half. Use a spoon to scrape away the damp sugar from the inside of the shell. This will give you a nice thin shell. You want the shell to be 1/4 of an inch thick. If children are scooping out the eggs themselves, you may want to wait 2-3 hours, so they’re very firm. This creates a thicker shell, which is less translucent, but you will have less breakage. When I work with groups of children, I usually have the shells premade. However, it’s interesting for them to know how it was done, so I begin with a quick demonstration. In a family setting, you can let the family make their own shells or make them ahead. It will depend on your time frame.

5. Let your scooped out shells dry until very firm. You can mention to children that the shells are now concave, another learning moment.

6. Make “royal” frosting in your mixer. This frosting dries like cement. It can be made with egg whites or meringue powder. I always opt for meringue powder as the frosting is easier to make and holds up better, especially when working with children. You can purchase meringue powder at stores with a cake decorating section, such as Walmart, baker’s supply houses, and culinary stores. The directions are usually on the package. If you opt to use egg whites, you can find the recipe online.

It takes 7-10 minutes of beating time, and the frosting should look like marshmallow cream. If it’s too thin, you will need to add a bit more sugar. If too stiff, add a couple of drops of water. Make sure the consistency is easy for children to squeeze out of a bag and yet holds its shape.

I always use paste or gel food coloring, rather than liquid food color, as the liquid can thin the frosting. The paste and gel food coloring give you truer, deeper colors. A little bit goes a long way! These types of food coloring can be purchased wherever cake decorating supplies are sold, and last for years.

7. I purchase disposable decorating bags for children. I cut off the tip to make a hole. I do not use decorating tips as the frosting dries in the tip crevices, making it harder for children to squeeze it out. If you do not have access to these decorating bags, you can use a plastic food storage bag. Snip off one corner. I put the frosting into the decorating bag or food storage bag, twist it behind the frosting, and rubber band it. This helps children keep the frosting in the bag, rather than having it squeeze out the back.

8. You can use miniatures purchased at a craft store for the inside of your egg. You can also put stickers on stiff paper or cardboard and cut them out. It’s also fun for children to draw and color their own small pictures, which are treated like stickers.

9. Put a spoonful of green or blue royal frosting into the bottom shell and allow the child to spread it around with their finger. Make it thick so that whatever they put inside the egg will stand upright. The size of the shell determines the amount of frosting needed. This picture shows a fancy inside made by one of my experienced grands, but most children are happy with a bunny in some green frosting or a duck in some blue. 

10. Use a bead of the royal frosting around the outside edge of the bottom shell. I talk to children about the word perimeter here. Always teaching. : ) Now put the two halves together.

11. At this point, I talk with the children about the magic of the egg, that even adults will ask, “How did you get those little bunnies in there?” I tell them to cover the seam so no one will know how they did it. I also suggest they decorate around the front opening. Remember that some children won’t want to decorate the front opening or the seam. It’s ok. It’s their egg.

12. You can decorate your egg with frosting flowers purchased in the cake decorating section of the craft store. You can use small silk flowers snipped from their stems. You can use small candy decorations from the baking aisle of the grocery store. At Easter, there are plenty of Easter decorations available. You can even use raisins and nuts. Use your imagination. There are many wonderful ways to decorate sugar eggs.

13. Let your egg creation dry overnight before handling.

Have a delightful, spiritual, and family-centered Easter.

Learning Play – Math and Science Through Levers

Some children love math and science, while others find these topics unenjoyable or uninteresting. My grandson, Ben, was interested in both. He spent time on the computer looking up science questions rather than playing outdoors. As a child, I wanted to understand both math and science. I was intrigued by them, but my learning style made both very challenging. I had children who weren’t interested at all!

Math and science are important subjects that our kids will encounter in school, regardless of their educational setting, whether public, private, or homeschool. What can we do to respond to our children who are sparked by these topics, while creating interest in children who aren’t? One thing we can consider is turning them into fun, exciting, interesting, and at times, messy family activities. Kids love making a mess. : )

When my grands were young, I introduced them to levers. At the time, I didn’t know much about levers. I had never taken physics. If I didn’t know much about levers, what got me interested enough to think I could interest my grands? One day, I saw a game on television that utilized leverage and made me want to know more. It sparked me. : ) As I’ve aged, I’ve called upon my leverage learning to continue to do some things I wouldn’t otherwise be able to do. Leverage is a valuable concept to understand. I give directions for the game and the materials needed to make it at the end of this article.

I decided to see what else I could find that might be fun for the grands and me to work on together. I found all kinds of Lego builds and similar things. My grands had done some of these on their own without even knowing they were creating levers. I found playground equipment that used the principles of leverage. My grands had always loved seesaws. : ) But I was looking for something we hadn’t seen or thought of before. I was also interested in possible breakaway topics we could spend time on.

It didn’t take a ton of time to find fun things to share with them, and now, you. We have tools today that make it simple to find great activities that introduce science and math to children as young as four and five, even if the topic is new to you. It was fun finding simple ways to introduce fairly complicated concepts in ways that my grands and I could understand.

There’s a big payback when you have interesting stuff on hand in your home. I introduced the Spark Station to my homeschool audience years ago. However, I have used it extensively as a grandma, and it’s great in any home to respond to your kids Sparks, introduce something new and exciting, for something to do on a boring day, when there’s a need to defuse a contentious situation, or when you want to engage the entire family in an activity.

What is the Spark Station (formerly The Closet)? It’s simply a cupboard, individual shelf, or closet, where parents and grandparents put things they feel their kids or grands would enjoy engaging with. Kinda like a toy box, only more orderly and more interesting. : ) This is where I put some of the great information I found about levers. Then, when the grands came over, they looked in my cupboard (it was one shelf), and we were off.

Lever Activities

Getting into the habit of watching for your children’s sparks is useful because it gives you ideas, as the television show did for me, then follow through and find a few activities that your family or your children can engage in.

  • In physics, a lever is a rigid object that’s used with an appropriate fulcrum or pivot point to multiply the mechanical force (effort) that can be applied to another object (load). It’s also called mechanical advantage. The seesaw I mentioned earlier is an example. When you go to the park, and your child rides the seesaw, mention that it’s a lever.
  • Did you know that many common tools utilize the concept of leverage (crowbars, pliers, scissors)? Some modern examples of levers are using a hammer to pull out a nail, using a bottle-opener to open a pop bottle, using a screwdriver to pry the lid off a can of paint, using a pair of scissors, using a balance scale to weigh things, rowing a boat, and using pliers to open a bottle. They’re all based upon levers and fulcrums.
  • Find an old tree stump (a walk in the woods for that purpose or a drive in the country can help you find one), a box of nails, and a hammer. Put the stump in the backyard and let the kids hammer in and remove nails. This is another opportunity to have a mini-conversation about this wonderful science concept. I can tell you that it’s a super fun activity! My grands LOVED it!! OK, what kid doesn’t like to whack something with a hammer, and while they’re busy at it, you can engage in some mini-conversations about Egypt and Archimedes. You can find information about them in the Breakaway Topics section, below.
  • Find a community pond that rents boats and go rowing. Maybe you can fish while you are at it. Have several mini-conversations about leverage and its importance in helping you get back on land.
  • Some animals have figured out how to use artificial levers to get work done. Sea otters, for example, use rocks to pry open seashells to eat sea urchins or abalones. Orangutans use sticks to pry open spiny fruit to eat the seeds inside. What else do these animals do? Where do they live? You can find pictures of animals using tools and levers online or in the library.
  • People have probably used levers as long as there have been people on Earth. At first, people used levers the way otters and orangutans do, to break into shells and fruits to eat the food inside. Research online to see pictures of early levers in human life.
  • Look for books that show how heavy machinery, such as cranes, uses length and leverage to move heavy objects into place. Buy a toy crane for your child and talk about how it works. This is an example of a mini-conversation that can occur naturally as a child plays. It’s always amazing to me what children take in when you think they’re just playing. Play is a great learning tool for kids. There are many videos to watch. I also found good books. Check these out: Mighty Machines in Action: Cranes by Chris Bowman, Peep Inside How a Crane Works by Lara Bryan
  • Look at pictures of the joints in your body. Your body contains many, many levers—wherever there’s a movable joint, there’s a lever below. Whenever you pick up anything heavy, your elbow acts as the fulcrum of the lever, and your arm bone acts as the lever itself. You can do experiments with the levers in your body. You can have a leg wrestling contest. You can play the game of stick pulling.
  • Find other levers in your home. Perhaps you don’t think much about how you use mechanical advantage, but there’s no way you can go through a day without utilizing it in some way. Levers are everywhere; the light switch on the wall, for example, and the stapler on your desk. You use levers when you shift gears on a bike and when you hit the brakes. A doorknob is a type of lever.
  • By the time people were living in cities, levers were used for many things. Take a look at a shaduf. It’s a very important tool for lifting water in many countries.
  • Make the lever game I saw on television, then play it. Instructions below.

Breakaway Topics

  • Study Egypt. It is theorized that levers were used to build the ancient pyramids in Egypt, so you could talk or read about Egypt. This is a new and interesting topic to share as a family. Do a bit of research and have some amazing dinner conversations. There are also great books you could use in your family reading time. Recreate some art. Google Egyptian art for kids, and lots of options come up. There are also many cool videos on Egypt for children. Why not have an Egyptian meal?
  • Study Archimedes. The earliest surviving writings on levers date to the 3rd century BC and were attributed to Archimedes. “Give me a place to stand, and I shall move the earth,” is a remark he made. Here is someone to learn about, read about, or have a conversation at the dinner table. As with Egypt, Google Archimedes for kids and lots of age-appropriate information comes up. Some books to get you going: Archimedes: The Inspiring Story of a Genius by Reza Nazari, ARCHIMEDES: The Complete History for Kids: The Mathematician Who Changed How We See the World by Olivia G. Mitchell, and ARCHIMEDES: The Complete History for Kids: The Mathematician Who Changed How We See the World by Olivia G. Mitchell. Here is one to read as a family: Archimedes and the Door of Science by Jeanne Bendick (ideal for ages 10+). Mr. Archimedes’ Bath by Pamela Allen is a fun picture book for younger children.  If you have really interested kids, give this book a try: String, Straightedge, and Shadow: The Story of Geometry by Julia E. Diggins
  • Study the pyramids. You could have a couple of books about pyramids in the living room. Look at them at the end of a family council, a family night, or an activity. Create a pyramid. Lots of ideas are online.
  • You can expand your study of levers into the other simple machines: wheel and axle, pulley, inclined plane, wedge, and screw. Where can you find them around your home, in your environment? Can you make some of them? Talk about how they make life easier? Can you see how one spark can lead you to dozens of others; how just a bit of thinking time can give you weeks and months of ideas to work with.
  • Learn more about shadufs. Show a picture of a shaduf, and share information about countries where they’re used. Find those counties on a map and learn about them. Make food from the country, see how they dress, what school is like, and what their families are like. Make a simple shaduf.

I understand that this may seem a bit overwhelming. Let me remind you that I took very little science and math in school, only what was absolutely required. However, I can look things up. I can think about them and how they relate to what I do every day. I certainly know more than a 4-year-old and most 12-year-olds. A mentor only needs to be a step ahead and moving forward. You are that for your children. You’re the expert in your home. You can sow seeds, build enthusiasm, and inspire.

Be brave. Give it a try. You may not have a shelf or closet where your kids or grands look for interesting stuff to engage with, but you can gather your family at a meal and introduce the topic. Then pick an activity and give it a go.

Families that learn and play together build lasting bonds.

 

Directions For The Leverage Game

The children playing the game were all about nine years old, but I could tell that with help, younger children could also make and play the game.

Take a piece of PVC pipe (about 4-5” diameter) or other material for the fulcrum. Use a flat piece of wood 2 ½ to 3 feet long as the lever. Tape a paper bowl to one end of the lever. Use a tennis ball to launch on the lever.

Use three hula hoops or other circular items on the grass, each marked with a paper sign as to its point value. The point of the game is to launch the tennis ball with the lever so that it lands inside the hula hoop with the most point value. Your children can experiment with moving the lever back and forth on the fulcrum until they find the length that will land the ball in the hoop of their choice.

Needed Materials:

  • A piece of PVC pipe or other item for the fulcrum
  • A flat board for the lever
  • Masking or duct tape to secure the bowl to the lever
  • A paper bowl
  • A tennis ball
  • 3 hula hoops
  • Paper
  • Markers

The closer the fulcrum is to the object being moved, the easier it will be to move the object – that is, the closer the fulcrum is to the object being moved, the less force is required to move it.

If your children are old enough to read or are at an age where they want to know how something works, add something from the internet explaining how a lever works, or a book from the library.

​

​

Five Principles of Power Series – A Marvelous Example of Being Present

When my youngest daughter, Kate, was a senior in high school, she was in an advanced writing class. One of her assignments was to write a poem using iambic pentameter. She was overwhelmed by the assignment and wasn’t clear as to what iambic pentameter meant. They had talked about it in class, but most of you will relate to how clear it was by the time she got home. LOL

I want you to know I’m not a fan of poetry, unless it comes from Mother Goose. I’m a bit ashamed to admit it, and I know that I owe it to myself to read some poetry before I die. : ) My daughter, however, liked it a lot. She really enjoyed Shakespeare. She had read all of his works and all of his sonnets, watched many plays, and acted the part of Hero from “Much Ado about Nothing” in 8th grade. Here is another confession- I have read Romeo and Juliet and seen The Taming of the Shrew. That’s it.

So, it wasn’t a happy circumstance when she came to me and asked for help. I had no idea what iambic pentameter was. But how could I say no to my daughter who needed my support? So, we sat at the computer together and began. We looked up iambic pentameter. We read it. We gave each other a blank stare and then read it again. Now I may not love poetry, but I’m pretty good at figuring out what I read. I began to understand and was able to explain it to her. Then she was off and running.

We talked over possible topics for her poem. Then she chose one, which happened to be her own idea. Way to go, Kate. She told me the story she envisioned her poem telling. It was good, really good. Then she wrote the first line. I can see us pounding out the syllables into our hands and changing words until there were exactly ten syllables per line. We would come up with ordinary words and then check the Thesaurus to find words that were more descriptive, elegant, or fitting for the time period and topic. It was fun. We laughed a lot.

She wrote and rewrote for over 3 hours. I was there the whole time. I made suggestions whenever she was stuck on a word or a thought and asked for help. She seldom used the word I suggested, but it would spark her mind, and then she would come up with the perfect word by herself. She would look at me with an excited smile, raise her hand, and say, “Gimmie five.” I would, at regular intervals, say, “This is good; it’s really good. You’re amazing!”

Be With Me While I Write

When Kate was in her first year of college, she took a creative writing class. One assignment was to create an imaginary author and describe his/her life. She was to present a piece of the imaginary person’s writing and then analyze it. She decided to rewrite the poem she wrote in high school about a sailor’s widow. She was adjusting it to tell the story of a Civil War soldier’s widow.

One day, I peeked in her room to say hi and see what she was doing. “Mom, come in and let me read this to you.” I went in, and she read it to me. Then she asked me to sit down and help her out.

We reminisced about the time we worked on the original poem together; all those great feelings came back. We laughed about the experience and how fun it had been.

I sat on the side of her bed and watched her use the Thesaurus and the dictionary to find words she needed. I saw her look up Civil War information and get a feel for the time period. I didn’t say much. Her poem was coming along great. Eventually, I stood up, patted her back, and left her to her work. She didn’t really need me. She had learned through experience what to do.

This is a marvelous example of being present. What Kate had needed in high school, she wanted to feel again while creating her imaginary author and what they would have written. She wanted me to be present, to feel my support, have some of my focused time, and sense my enthusiasm for what she was doing. These are the things all kids need from time to time.

Kate wrote her poem in high school by herself. She thought she was asking me to help her do it. What she really asked was, be with me, care about me, and learn with me. This is Principle Two from The Five Principles of Power – Be Present.

 Kate is raising three children of her own, and she understands not only how to write a poem in iambic pentameter, but she also knows how to be PRESENT.  Enjoy Kate’s work from her high school days.

It’s now a few decades old, but still wonderful.

The Widow’s Walk

By Kate Johnson

Upon the widows’ walk forlorn, she stands.
Face gray, indistinct in the morning mist.
Iron railing, cold portent in her hands.
Heartache knocks, upon her cheeks he kissed.
Annals of mariner’s wives keeping pace,
Back and forth, eyes on the horizon.
Lives lost forty leagues below without trace.
Possibility, worry like poison.
Bells peal out, mournfully telling of loss,
Belaying her breath, they tacitly mock.
Mind shrouded, forever bearing the cross,
Endlessly trudging the high widow’s walk.
Hope springs eternal; they shall meet anon
Sighs a chantey to a roseate dawn.

Leave a Legacy of Growth and It Will Be Enough!

A mom in our neighborhood has become a family friend. She has spent time in our home. She has shared meals, and we have had the opportunity to talk. She has observed our four-generation family, our little ecosystem, as my daughter calls it, from inside and out.

I Wish You Were My Mom

Not too long ago, she said, “I wish you were my mom. You’re the best mom. My mom didn’t share love; she was a stone.” This comment has caused me to ponder my past, my in between, and my now.

I, like Christy, had some challenges growing up. I was the oldest of nine with a mother who had been sexually abused for many of her growing-up years. Holding, hugging, and nurturing were not her strong suits when I was young. She fed us, got us places, kept us and our home clean, but she wasn’t present in many ways. I didn’t understand when I was a girl, but in the ensuing fifty-six years, I have come to understand many things. After I left home, I watched my mother grow and change. I watched her nurture my younger siblings and serve those around her. I love my mom for never giving up on herself, for giving me an example of change and growth.

She Only Knows the Person and Mother I Am Today

I could understand some of what Christy was feeling when she made her comment. However, as genuine as what she said was, I realized that she only knows the person and mother I am today. She doesn’t know that I was inwardly angry and that I raged. She doesn’t know I had a hard time with touch because I, too, had been sexually abused. She doesn’t know that tenderness and caring for people, more than projects, wasn’t how I began. She doesn’t know how much I had to learn and grow, how much baggage I had to let go of. But my children know!

One of the things that has given me peace about all the errors I made as a parent is that I know I did my best with what I had when I began, and that I didn’t rest there. Over time, I came face-to-face with my weaknesses and shortcomings, and I sought information and resources to help me understand how to change and grow. I wanted to be and do better. I wanted to give my children some of what I had lacked and stop giving them the very things that had wounded me as a child.

It was slow going. There were no computers until some of my kids were teens. There was the library, if you knew what book to look for. I had some neighbors and friends who shared what they had learned, gave advice, and helped me see what I hadn’t been able to see. We can only bring what we have until we gain more. We can only see what we have experienced until someone, or something, opens our eyes, and we see with new eyes. Then we must go to work. Knowing is not enough. We must then do, and that’s a long and often bumpy road. We must pray for and then watch for resources. They will come!

My Example Is Making a Difference

Monday was my 76th birthday. I received cards, and it was fun. However, one of the most meaningful cards wasn’t a birthday card. It was a thank-you card. Jodie wrote: “Mom, I broke out my new sewing machine the other day to fix Ben’s pants. I was able to thread the machine and take care of my son’s needs because you taught me how to sew all those years ago. I sat at the table, remembering, feeling grateful. Thank you, Mom, I love you.”

It caused me to think back, as Jodie had done. I taught my children many things. I taught them to sew, make nourishing meals, clean, put their space in order, garden well, and serve in their community. I gave them the living example of loving God, the value of prayer, a strong work ethic, the value of reading and study, being open to constructive criticism, trying when it was hard, and never giving up. Yes, I was a very good mother in many ways.

But I was unprepared in others. I was carrying a big bag of ‘stuff’. My children had to experience the ‘stuff’ until I could begin emptying my bag. In the process of my own healing and growth, I put ‘stuff’ in my children’s bags. Have all my kids been able to jettison the baggage I gave them? No, they’re still working on it, but I’m confident that when they’re 76, they will have made as much progress as I have.

I’ve watched them do what I did: forgive, change, let go, and grow. It’s been helpful to me and my own sense of OK-ness watching them. I recall, occasionally, when I feel old regrets surface, something my oldest daughter Jodie, said to me when she was in her late thirties. She reminded me that she was able to change a hard thing because of my example. My second daughter, Jenny, brings this up regularly and reminds me how grateful she is that I kept working on myself and was a mirror for her growth.

Many years ago, when I was a teen, someone I respected told me I would touch many people’s lives. I wondered what they were talking about. I was just a girl, liked, but nothing special, carrying my bag of ‘stuff’. All these years later, I can see that despite having so much growing and learning to do, I have impacted many people for good, even my family, who had to live through my growing up and cleaning out.

As time goes on, others will notice the positive changes we’ve made, even if they don’t realize where we started. But our progress will matter most to our children and grandchildren—they are shaped by how we continue to learn, heal, and improve. The legacy we leave them is not perfection but the example of real growth.

Take Heart and Do The Work

No matter how poorly you feel you’re doing as a parent, take heart. Keep pondering and looking inside yourself. Be open to seeing your weaknesses, and then begin working on them rather than beating yourself up over them. Parenting is never made better by berating ourselves. It’s made better when we square our shoulders, stand up straight, and move forward one step at a time, when we give ourselves grace. Look for resources, and they will come. Pray for help, and it will come. I’ve done all this, and it has helped me and my children. Am I done? No. We’re like onions; there’s always another layer to work on, and that’s good. Life stays interesting, and we keep growing.

No matter your mistakes or weaknesses, your example of ongoing growth and effort is the true legacy you leave your children—and it will be enough.

Listening, Trusting, and Following Through Make a World of Difference

The Day of Surgery

The day of my hip surgery, September 3, after returning home, I was going up and down our two stairs, caregiving, and managing as if I had never had surgery. One week out, I canned salsa. The doctor had told me I would recover quickly because I was so active. When I asked about canning, he said I could do whatever I had energy for because my new hip was made to stand on. That’s why I was in crazy mode for the first two weeks after surgery. And it was crazy!

Reality Is No FUN! Getting Help Is

At the end of the first two weeks, reality descended. I fell into extreme fatigue and became depressed. I couldn’t shake the feelings of worry, fear, sadness, anger, resentment, powerlessness, etc. My hip began to bother me when I sat or when I first began walking after sitting. I was totally unprepared for this. It wasn’t what I was expecting after two fabulously energetic and pain-free weeks. What had happened?

Caregiving didn’t go away because I was struggling. Mom and Don still needed help with everything. My daughter helped when she could, but she works full-time, has four teens, one with severe CP. I had to keep doing what was necessary because life goes on. This was the reality of my situation, but how could I continue when I felt so unable to manage myself and my feelings?

I was desperate for answers. So, I did what I do. I prayed for help, resources, and thoughts. As I knew it would, help came. I received information from two trusted sources that let me know that depression is part of the healing process. The body uses all the energy it can to do its healing work, which leaves one depleted. Knowing this, that there wasn’t anything wrong with me, that I wasn’t weak, and was in exactly the correct place, helped me cope with how I felt, until the depression and most of the hip discomfort went away in late December.

A Thought That Made A Difference

Today, I want to focus on one thought that came to me, which I immediately implemented, even though it seemed odd. Then I’ll share the amazing clarity I received as to why trusting the thought and following through made such a difference at a very challenging time.

The thought was to open the hymnal on my phone and sing 1-2 songs each evening. Really, I was living a very busy caregiving life. I had just had surgery and was struggling. I didn’t want to add something else to my already loaded plate! But I listened. It was fall and warm, so I went outdoors at sunset and sang. I couldn’t always sit, so I would stand. It lifted my spirits. It caused me to smile. I have continued this simple practice. Eventually, I couldn’t go outdoors because of the changing weather, so I would sit at my desk in the bedroom or in the bathroom before my nightly shower. The fatigue and depression, although still there, began to be more manageable.

In November, they announced the church choir would begin practicing for the Christmas program. I had quit singing three years earlier. It was too hard to take Mom and Don home, feed them, and then go back for choir. But for the two hours we were at church that day, the thought kept returning. “Mary, sing in the choir.” “Join the choir.” “Don’t forget choir.” Finally, I looked heavenward and said under my breath, “OK!!”, in a frustrated voice. I took Mom and Don home and returned to the church at 3. It was a beautiful and uplifting experience! I hadn’t realized how much letting go of my music had affected me. I had forgotten how much I loved singing.

I was given a small solo, even though I had been gone for three years. Singing a solo was on my bucket list, and here I was at 75, doing it for the first time, after a three-year hiatus. A miracle. Singing daily in the evening and on Sunday with the choir was one of the things that helped my heart shed the burdens it felt.

The Christmas program was wonderful, and I did a good job. It was fun, and I was glad I had listened to my thought. The depression had gone, and I was managing well. But it didn’t end there.

On Sunday, January 18th, they announced there would be a choir for a larger church meeting held a couple of times a year. I knew the singers in this choir would all be better at the craft than I am. I don’t read music well, so I have to memorize my part, but I felt I would have time to do that. I really enjoyed the first practice, despite being in deep water. : )

Why Did It Make A Difference?

Driving home after that first choir practice, I was pondering the whole music/singing issue. Why had it made such a difference? Was it the singing itself, the music, being with a group, what? In that moment of thought, I got a download; it filled my mind and heart. It wasn’t about the music or the singing. It wasn’t about being part of something. It was the sense that I was caring for myself because I matter. I’m worth caring for. This is exactly what I know I am doing when I shower at night. I’ve been showering at night for over 30 years. Caring for myself is what I’m doing when I schedule those phone calls, walks, and the occasional lunch that I resisted doing for three years and recently told you about.

In each of these situations: creating regular connections with other women, taking a hot shower at night, singing in the evening, joining the choir, I was intentionally caring for my heart, my mind, my emotions, my healing, not just from surgery, but from the challenges of everyday living. It was mind-blowing and mind-opening. It made so much sense.

We all find ourselves in this place, maybe not from surgery or illness, but from managing a family, a job, and life. It can feel overwhelming. And we all must learn to manage the feelings this overwhelm can generate.

I mentioned some time back the story I’ve been dealing with for over nine years, “There is no time in my life for me.” I know it’s a story, but it hasn’t been easy to dispel because my life is packed with people to care for, and I gave up a carefully built career to take it on. In this moment of clarity, after that choir practice, I understood that the things I had been led to do by my creator were designed to help me care for myself, to say in a physical way, “I love you, Mary Ann. You matter to me as much as anyone!” The activities I have added to my hectic life in the last couple of years are making a difference, a world of difference.

No matter what your situation looks like, if you ponder and think about how you can care for yourself, thoughts and resources will come. Don’t dismiss them like I did when the thought came to create a group of women I could connect with consistently. Don’t dismiss them if they seem odd, like adding choir practice or evening singing to your already packed day. Don’t dismiss them if they seem frivolous, like scheduling walks or going to lunch once every three months. LOL

Every evening, I still shower, pray for someone, put on lotion, read a few paragraphs, and spend time alone. I can usually give myself 10 to 15 minutes. : ) I still sing every evening. I have my calls, walks, and one lunch preset so they actually happen. I’m diligently working on rewriting that old story, one God-given thought and then one action at a time. I’m sending the message loud and clear to myself, 

“There’s always time for you because you matter as much as anyone!”

Raising Resilient, Confident Kids: Practical Ways to Build Traits That Last a Lifetime

Photo from Freepik
Photo from Freepik

Here’s an informative article from my friend, Laura Pearson. She’s taken the time to dive into a topic that can seem tricky for parents. It’s an easy read, contains useful information, and has helpful links. I loved her section on Entrepreneurship. Most of my grands have had small businesses of one type or another before going to or completing high school, a great way to practice resilience and gain confidence. Enjoy.

Raising Resilient, Confident Kids: Practical Ways to Build Traits That Last a Lifetime

Parents don’t “install” resilience or confidence with one speech. Kids build those traits slowly through everyday experiences where they feel safe, capable, and loved while they learn how to handle challenges. The goal isn’t to raise a child who never struggles. It’s to raise a child who learns, over time, “I can cope, I can grow, and I’m still worthy when things are hard.”

A Simple Foundation

Lasting traits grow when kids get three things consistently: support, structure, and small chances to practice.

Praise Effort and Strategy, Not Just Outcomes

Kids who only get praised for results can become afraid to try. Kids who get praised for effort learn that growth is something they can control.

Say things like:
●“You kept going even when it was frustrating.”
●“That was smart how you broke it into steps.”
●“I’m proud of how you handled that, not just how it turned out.”

This builds confidence that’s based on learning—not perfection.

Teach Resilience Through “Recover and Reset” Skills

Resilient kids aren’t the ones who never get upset. They’re the ones who learn how to come back.

Help your child practice:
●Naming feelings (“That sounds like disappointment.”)
●Calming their body (breathing, movement, quiet time)
●Choosing a next step (“What’s one thing we can do now?”)

The lesson is powerful: emotions are real, but they’re not in charge.

Build Independence With Choices Inside Boundaries

Kids become independent when they get to make decisions—without being overwhelmed.

Examples:
●“Homework before or after snack?”
●“Blue shirt or green shirt?”
●“Do you want to talk now or take a break first?”

These small choices teach agency and reduce power struggles.

Give Them Responsibilities That Create Real Competence

Confidence grows fastest when kids contribute and see themselves succeed.

Age-appropriate responsibilities:
●Pack part of their lunch
●Own a weekly chore (trash, pet care, tidying a space)
●Help plan one family meal
●Manage a small budget for a project

Kids feel stronger when they’re needed in a healthy way.

Entrepreneurship Can Empower Youth Who Crave Independence

For some young people, a small business project can build confidence quickly because it gives them real-world responsibility, decision-making practice, and a sense of ownership. It can also help them discover strengths they didn’t know they had.

If your child wants to pursue entrepreneurship in a serious way, it’s smart to research the basics first—especially legal questions around ownership and business structure. You can start with the LLC age requirement where you live. From there, start framing things like:

●A business plan (try starting with a template)
●Marketing strategies (social media is a natural choice for most kids)
●Develop a budget (there are lots of apps for that)
●Financial arrangements (your bank might offer child/teen checking accounts)

Support Their Interests and Protect What Makes Them Unique

A positive self-image forms when kids feel accepted for who they are—not who they perform as.

How to help:
●Notice strengths beyond achievement (curiosity, kindness, humor, persistence)
●Encourage “their thing,” even if it’s unusual
●Avoid comparisons (especially siblings)

Kids who feel valued for their uniqueness don’t need to imitate others to feel worthy.

Community Activities Build Confidence and Resilience

Community activities give kids something every long-term trait needs: practice. When children regularly show up in a group setting, they learn how to cooperate, handle feedback, navigate social dynamics, and feel a sense of belonging—without everything depending on school performance. These experiences often strengthen self-esteem because kids see themselves contributing, improving, and being valued by others.

Ideas to explore:
●Team sports (soccer, basketball, swim team, track, martial arts). Your school is a great place to begin.
●Clubs and groups (scouting, robotics, chess, drama, choir, youth group)
●Volunteerism (family service days, food pantry sorting, park cleanups, community gardens)
●Creative classes (art, music lessons, dance, theater workshops)
●Interest-based meetups (coding camps, book clubs, Lego clubs, STEM nights at libraries)
●Community fitness (yoga for kids, family hikes, running clubs, rec center leagues)

A good rule: pick one activity that builds skills and one that builds joy—and keep the commitment realistic so it stays fun, not stressful. 

Teach “Good Self-talk” By Modeling It

Kids absorb how adults handle mistakes and stress. Self-talk becomes contagious.

Model phrases like:
●“I made a mistake—now I’ll fix it.”
●“This is hard, but I can learn.”
●“I can try again tomorrow.”

This quietly teaches resilience, accountability, and confidence.

Help Them Build Healthy Friendships and Social Confidence

Kids gain resilience when they feel connected. Make connection easier by teaching simple social skills:
●How to invite someone to play
●How to handle conflict respectfully
●How to apologize and repair
●How to say no without being mean

Social confidence protects kids long-term.

Fun Learning Techniques That Build Confidence, Not Pressure

Kids tend to learn best when it feels playful and doable—especially if they’re already carrying stress from school, social dynamics, or perfectionism. Fun learning techniques can make practice feel like a win instead of a chore, which helps kids build competence (and confidence) faster.

A few ideas to try:
●Turn lessons into mini-challenges: “Can you solve 3 in a row?” or “Let’s beat yesterday’s time.”
●Use movement-based learning: flashcards while bouncing a ball, spelling words with sidewalk chalk, math facts during a dance break
●Make it social: teach-back time where your child “explains it” to you in their own words
●Keep sessions short: 10–15 minutes is often better than long, draining blocks

A Quick Parent Checklist for Building Lifelong Traits

☐ Praise effort, strategy, and improvement
☐ Teach “reset skills” after big emotions
☐ Offer choices within clear boundaries
☐ Give responsibilities that build competence
☐ Encourage interests and celebrate uniqueness
☐ Model healthy self-talk and repair after mistakes
☐ Support friendships and connection

One Last Bit

Resilience, independence, and a positive self-image aren’t rare traits—they’re built through daily life. When kids feel supported, get chances to practice responsibility, and learn how to recover from setbacks, they grow into steady, capable people. Focus on small habits that repeat: effort-based praise, meaningful responsibilities, healthy choices, and consistent connection.

Over time, those everyday moments become the foundation for a strong life.

Fantastic Dinner Conversations – Year of the Horse

WARNING – There is a TON of stuff in this article. Take what you need and leave the rest. : )

Sometimes it can be a challenge to get kids to talk at the dinner table, especially teens. But having dinner conversations helps create a culture of togetherness and is worth the effort. This year marks the Year of the Horse. It begins on February 17, 2026, and will end on February 5, 2027. I know that seems odd compared to our calendar, but the moon cycle determines the dates each year. The Chinese New Year is a great jumping-off place for some happy dinner conversations.

In China, they use a zodiac based on a 12-year cycle to determine when the new year begins. To celebrate each new year, they have a 16-day festival. This year, the festival will culminate with a full blood moon, known as the Worm Moon, on March 3, 2026. This New Year’s festival is also known as the spring festival.

There’s much to talk about as we enter the Year of the Horse. As you ask good questions and share interesting information, you can get some great dinner conversations going and then expand them over the next couple of months.

Sample Questions

• Does China use the same calendar system we do?
• Do you know how China celebrates the New Year?
• Did you know that in China, there is an animal sign for each new year?
• Did you know that if you were born in the year of the horse, you would have cool characteristics?
(vitality, speed, perseverance, success, and be hardworking, warm-hearted, and independent)
• Have you ever heard of the Worm Moon?
• Do you have a favorite book about horses?
• Would you like to know what animal was on the zodiac the year you were born?

In this article, I’m sharing interesting and fun ideas so that as you take the leap and give this a try, you will have what you need. Below you’ll find information on the Year of the Horse, family learning ideas, family activities and games, and family reading.

Information on the Chinese New Year – Year of the Horse

The Chinese Zodiac, known as Sheng Xiao in Chinese, is based on a 12-year cycle. Each year in the cycle is related to an animal sign. These animal signs are the rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep, monkey, rooster, dog, and pig. The zodiac is calculated according to the Chinese Lunar Calendar. The selection and order of the animals that influence people’s lives originated in the Han Dynasty (206 – 220) and is based upon each animal’s character and living habits. The spirit of the horse is the spirit of the Chinese people. They are always trying to improve themselves. This spirit is energetic, bright, warm-hearted, intelligent, and able.

People born in the Year of the Horse have ingenious communication techniques and, in their community, they always want to be in the limelight. They are clever, kind to others, and like to join in a venture career. Although they sometimes talk too much, they are cheerful, perceptive, talented, earthy, but stubborn. They like entertainment and large crowds. They’re popular among friends, active at work, and refuse to be reconciled to failure. Hmmm, could that be you? You can find more details about the year of the horse HERE. 

Were you born in a Year of the Horse? You can find out what animal was celebrated in your birth year HERE. I was born in the year of the Ox, and my birthday on the Chinese lunar calendar is Dec. 23, 1949. According to the calendaring system we use in the USA, it’s February 9, 1950. Interesting.

Family Learning Ideas

Whenever there’s a special event in the world, such as a holiday, it gives you a wonderful opportunity to create learning experiences for your family, which then can lead to great mealtime conversations. Here are a few ideas to get you started with the Year of the Horse.

1. Take the time to discover each person’s animal sign.

2. Learn the difference between astronomy and astrology, and there is a big difference. That will help clarify why calendaring systems are different.

3. Study the country of China, the writing, the history, the culture, and the arts.

4. Since this is the year of the horse, learn about horses. Sharing facts or asking questions about horses to see what your family already knows would create great dinner conversation. Here are a few facts to get you going.

Fun Facts about Horses
• Horses can sleep both lying down and standing up.
• Horses can run shortly after birth.
• Domestic horses have a lifespan of around 25 years.
• Horses have been domesticated for over 5000 years.
• Horses are herbivores (plant eaters).
• Horses have bigger eyes than any other mammal that lives on land.
• Because horses’ eyes are on the side of their head, they can see nearly 360 degrees at one time.
• Estimates suggest that there are around 60 million horses in the world.
• A male horse is called a stallion.
• A female horse is called a mare.
• A young male horse is called a colt.
• A young female horse is called a filly.

5. Visit a nearby farm or petting zoo to see horses.

6. Watch “Miracle of the White Stallions” by Disney. I saw it as a young child, and I loved it! (Vienna’s famed Spanish Riding School – and its prized Lipizzan stallions – is threatened by devastating bombing raids and indifferent Nazi commanders. Despite the dangers involved in evacuating the magnificent animals, the school’s director and a handful of heroic citizens attempt a daring, life-threatening plan to move the stallions away from the ravages of war and keep the historic breed alive.)

7. Play a Game

  • Pin the tail on the horse (played like pin the tail on the donkey)
    A picture of a horse with a missing tail is tacked to a wall within easy reach of children. One at a time, each child is blindfolded and handed a paper “tail” with a push pin or thumbtack poked through it. The blindfolded child is then spun around until he or she is disoriented. The child gropes around and tries to pin the tail on the horse. The player who pins their tail closest to the target, the donkey’s rear, wins.
  • Animal Charades
    This is not just about horses; there are more animals than just horses in the Chinese Zodiac. This fun, old-fashioned kids’ party game has kids imitating their favorite animals. Each player takes a turn imitating an animal, while the other players try to guess which animal. The player who guesses correctly takes the next turn.
  • Hobby Horse Race
    You can make a hobby-horse from a broom, a mop, a yardstick, a dowel, etc. They can dress up their “horse” using ribbon. Make the head from a paper bag. Decorate the horse’s face and put it over the top of whatever you are using for the body, and secure it with ribbon or string. Create a racecourse in your backyard: get them to run around the sandpit, under the trampoline, use the garden hose to map out a course, give them something to jump over- get creative, and it will be sure to keep the kids busy for a while.

8. Do a Craft – The crafts below need little direction. When needed, brief directions are given.

  • Tube Horses – made from painted toilet paper rolls. The legs and neck are pipe cleaners or construction paper.
  • Stick Horses – Have your child make a horse head. Attach them to yardsticks, empty gift wrap rolls, or wooden dowels, etc. Cut two heads from paper or use a paper bag, decorate, add yarn or felt mane, stuff with crumpled paper or not, add wiggle eyes or color them in, staple, add a stick, viola! Now the kids are ready for stick horse races.

9. Make Fun ‘Horse’ Food

  • Lunch for Hungry as a Horse Kids – Keep it simple. For lunch, serve apples and carrots, along with some Happy Trails mix (nuts, seeds, M&M’s). Throw in some chips and a sandwich.
  • Serve a ‘Horse’ Sandwich – What you’ll need:
    • bread and filling (PB&J, lunch meat, etc)
    • sliced cheese (for mane and tail)
    • sliced ham
    • string cheese
    • peas (for eyes)
    • celery (for legs)
    • Raisins (for legs, spots, eyes)
    The pictures should give you all the directions that you need. : )

Family Reading 

If you have a family reading time, then read great books about horses, both fiction and non-fiction. If you don’t have a family reading time, try reading a chapter at a meal. You will eat cold food, but it isn’t forever. : )  Below is a short list of fiction, non-fiction, and kids’ books to get you started. There are also two Aesop Fables to share at a meal and then talk about. No reading needed. Remember the Year of the Horse lasts all year. : )

  • Story 1: Aesop used horses to teach life lessons. You can find these stories in any Aesop’s fables book. Here are two to get started. You can tell these at a meal, ask questions at the end, and get another conversation going.
    The Horse, Hunter, and Stag – A quarrel had arisen between the Horse and the Stag, so the Horse came to a Hunter to ask his help take revenge on the Stag. The Hunter agreed, but said: “If you desire to conquer the Stag, you must permit me to place this piece of iron between your jaws, so that I may guide you with these reins, and allow this saddle to be placed upon your back so that I may keep steady upon you as we follow after the enemy.” The Horse agreed to the conditions, and the Hunter soon saddled and bridled him. Then, with the aid of the Hunter, the Horse soon overcame the Stag, and said to the Hunter: “Now, get off, and remove those things from my mouth and back.” “Not so fast, friend,” said the Hunter. “I have now got you under bit and spur, and prefer to keep you as you are at present.”

Moral: If you allow men to use you for your purposes, they will use you for theirs.

  • Story 2: The Horse and the Donkey
    A horse and a donkey were traveling together, the horse prancing along in its fine trappings, the donkey carrying with difficulty the heavy weight in its panniers. “I wish I were you,” sighed the donkey; “nothing to do and well fed, and all that fine harness upon you. ”Next day, however, there was a great battle, and the horse was wounded to death in the final charge of the day. His friend, the donkey, happened to pass by shortly afterwards and found him on the point of death. “I was wrong,” said the donkey.

Moral: Better humble security than gilded danger.

Fictional Stories About Horses

• The Wild Little Horse by Ashley Wolff
• Girl Who Loved Wild Horses by Paul Goble
• All the Pretty Little Horses by Linda Saport
• Black Beauty by Mary Sebag-Montefiore
• Black Beauty: The Autobiography of a Horse by Anna Sewell
• National Velvet by Enid Bagnold
• The Black Stallion by Walter Farley
• Girl on the High-Diving Horse by Linda Oatman High

Non-fiction Stories About Horses

• The Kids’ Horse Book by Sylvia Funston
• I Wonder Why Horses Wear Shoes by Jackie Gaff
• Horse Heroes: True Stories of Amazing Horses by Kate Petty
• The True or False Book of Horses by Patricia Lauber

Picture Books About Horses

• The Girl Who Loved Wild Horses by Paul Goble
• Robert the Rose Horse by Joan Heilbroner
• Cowgirl Kate and Cocoa by Erica Silverman
• Every Cowgirl Needs a Horse by Rebecca Janni
• Fritz and the Beautiful Horses by Jan Brett
• Scamper and the Horse Show by Jessie Haas
• Leonardo’s Horse by Jean Fritz
• Cowardly Clyde by Bill Peet
• Facts About Horses: 50 Amazing Illustrated Facts for Kids by Amy Lyons

Remember, conversations in a family, at meals, in the car, etc., help create a culture of togetherness.

Our Dreams Can Come True. Watch For It!

On March 9, 2025, I shared truths that I had written when I was 62. I shared them again because from 62 to 75, they hadn’t changed. I had lived them, and they were still true. I ended the article with these words:

Our dreams can come true. We can live up to our expectations. There is a plan, and we fit perfectly into it. It may not happen in the time frame we want, but if we hold on to hope and believe in ourselves, we will win.

As I’ve shared in past articles, I wanted to be a writer as early as age 8. I wanted to be a speaker even earlier. In my late 50s and 60s, these two dreams came true. I had a book published and spoke on stages all over the country. I taught workshops and mentored other adults.

Deciding to Let Go of What Was

In 2017, a few months after my book was published, my mother, who has dementia, came to live with us. Then my husband’s health took a serious turn, and I realized I could no longer do what I had spent a lifetime dreaming about. I closed my business, stopped speaking, teaching workshops, and mentoring after almost fifteen years. I continued to write, but I did less of it. This was not an easy decision to make, but it was mine to make. After I decided how to proceed, I moved forward confident that all would be well, even if it was different from what I had planned.

Last week, I spent some time in my old office, which is now my daughter’s, cleaning out a bookshelf and a cupboard. I found dozens of testimonials from people I had worked with, taught, and mentored. They shared how what I had taught them changed their lives. I was astounded. I had forgotten the thrill of it all. How it felt to be on stage, in front of a class, or helping a parent find more peace at home. I felt somewhat let down and sad. So, I did what I do. I began to look carefully at my story, and I prayed. I wanted peace with my current life and continuing joy in what it had been.

In the ensuing days, I had amazing thoughts come to my mind, thoughts that were uplifting and beautiful. They were about other dreams I had held as a child and young adult.

My Other Dreams

When I was in 7th grade, I joined the nursing club. I wanted to be a nurse. I studied it and looked into what it would take. I held that dream for many years.

When I went to college, I decided to get a degree in Special Education and work with children who had special needs. I was one semester shy of graduating and thought I would finish after marrying. I was 40 before I could return to college, and then I had too many classes to retake. So, I got a degree in education. It seemed that I would never fulfill either of these dreams.

I Hadn’t Noticed!

I hadn’t noticed that these dreams had come to fruition in ways I never expected! Every day, I care for my husband and my mother. I dispense pills, manage medications, wipe behinds, help them dress, take them to doctor’s appointments, check oxygen levels, etc. I work with physicians, home care nurses, and physical therapists to make decisions on their care.

Recently, my husband needed his legs wrapped weekly because of serious edema, so a home health nurse was dispatched. As her time with us wound down, we switched from wraps to a special tube sock. She showed me how to use it. As she did, I saw in my mind an easier way. When she came last week, Don told her what I was doing, and she asked to see. I demonstrated, and she was delighted because it will save her time and energy with other clients. Hmmm, seems like I have gotten my chance at the nursing thing. : ) I’ve been doing it now for over eight years.

Jodie left home early Thursday, so I got my granddaughter, Maggie, ready for school and on the bus by seven a.m. She has severe cerebral palsy. I had to get up at 5:45 to manage it. I did her meds, dressed her, brushed her teeth, hooked up the tube that feeds her, and had many mini conversations. Several years ago, I was Maggie’s aide in school. I attended every day and helped her write, read, do math, etc.

Shortly after Maggie left for school, I got a text from my 20+-year-old friend who has special needs. We engaged in a 15-20-minute text thread. Then I drove my grandson to school. As I drove home, I called my 54-year-old special needs friend who was having some dental work done. I wanted to know how it went and what she had planned for the rest of the week. We had a fifteen-minute conversation. Wednesday, I had recieved a call from my 60+ year-old friend, who also has special needs. We had a lively conversation. I met each one of these women in different towns where I have lived. It seems that the desire to be involved with people with special needs has come my way. I was also reminded of other dreams I have, and hope was rekindled that I will accomplish them.

Hold on to your dreams, all of them. They all matter, those that put you on a stage and those that help you serve those you love. Life takes twists and turns, and it can feel, at times, as if we have lost what we wanted so much. But if we remain open and observant, we will see our dreams fulfilled. Maybe not in the way we expected, but fulfilled, nonetheless. This knowledge brings brightness and lightness to life when things move differently than we planned. So, keep those dreams in front of you and watch God do his work.

Don’t be surprised when he gives them to

you in ways you didn’t expect.

 

Have a blessed and growing 2026,
Mary Ann : )

The Education Adventure – Be an Example & Remember the Spark

I mentored parents for many years. I enjoyed this work, the friendships I made, and the changes I saw in families. In the early days, I worked with families that were homeschooling. Later, I added parents who educated their children in private and public schools. One of the issues for all parents was how to help children/youth want to learn, enjoy the process, and take responsibility for their learning. No one system insulates parents from this dilemma. I began writing a series of articles titled The Education Adventure. These articles contained real experiences, from real families. Their stories are helpful when working to help children take on the adventure of education.

Important Questions

These are two questions that often surfaced while mentoring. The answers vary widely from family to family and from child to child. Observing how other families manage can assist in answering these questions for your family.

• How do you help them want to learn?
• How can you help children/youth take responsibility for their learning?

An Example from a Real Family

I had the privilege of working with a family who had an 11-year-old boy. Let’s call him Mike. They homeschooled. But as many of us do, even when our kids are in public or private school, mom pushed him. She wanted him to succeed. She wanted him to be proud of himself. Every day there was a lot of math, reading, spelling, science, etc.

This doesn’t sound much different from the mom who is using a private or public school, does it? At the end of the day, we feel responsible for how our children are doing in their schoolwork. It often feels as if the quality of their work shines a reflection on us, as parents. Are we helping them enough? Are we making sure they’re getting their homework done? Are they enjoying the education process? Do we feel overwhelmed with their school stuff and all the other things we manage?

Back To The 11-Year-Old

Mike had become somewhat belligerent about schoolwork, especially math. When his mom reached out to me, she didn’t think her son liked school. I was able to share information on how to make it feel more enjoyable and gave her some tools. They were helpful to her children, but we really made significant progress when I met with her son.

When I asked Mike how he was feeling about school, he said he liked it. He liked doing things as a family. He enjoyed reading together and alone. This surprised his mom. I asked him how he felt about math. He said he loved it; it was one of his favorite things. This also surprised his mom. Then I asked a pointed question, “Then why do you fuss about doing your math?” He responded that sometimes he wanted to read instead. I had to laugh. Doesn’t that sound like all of us? Sometimes you have things you need to do, but you want to do something else, and it makes you feel grouchy. It’s one of the reasons my daughter, Jodie, lets her kids take an occasional ‘sick’ day. : )

Since math had been the big issue between him and his mom, I asked him why he loved math. He replied that he liked working things out and solving problems. I said, “Then you would probably like architecture. It uses math to solve problems and work stuff out.” He said he loved architecture. This was something his mom hadn’t known. She had never talked with him about his math, except to ask if his assignments were finished. That week, she got books on architecture from the library and set them out. One day, they spent time together looking at pictures of famous buildings and talking about them.

Here’s another hard place many parents find themselves, as Mike’s mother had. We know what needs to be done, but we aren’t watching our children to see what interests them. We aren’t engaging in conversation. We’re not listening. We’re busy with life, and we want them to get their schoolwork done and do it well. However, when we ask questions and respond to what interests our kids, we help them connect schoolwork to their goals and dreams.

Mike’s mom and dad attended a seminar I spoke at a few weeks after we began working together. We had a conversation about their son and his math. Just that day, he had gotten mad at his mom over the math homework. He didn’t want to attend their family devotional or participate in family reading. He accused his mom of making him get behind in math because of all this other, unimportant family stuff.

I listened as the parents talked about the situation, and then I asked, “Why are you taking responsibility for Mike’s math?” His parents weren’t sure how to respond. I mean, don’t all parents manage their kids’ education and make sure they do the work?

At our interview, I asked Mike how he felt about overseeing his education, about being responsible for whether he learned math. He said he liked being able to choose what to study every day, but worried about being in charge. He said, “Sometimes I like having someone tell me what to do. It’s scary feeling I’m in charge.” Here he was fussing when his mom told him what to do, but he was intimidated by managing himself. This is the lesson everyone must learn, at some point, to live successful lives. It’s wise for kids to practice being responsible before starting high school, leaving home, or going to college. His mom saw that we can’t (and shouldn’t) do it all for our kids. They must learn to take responsibility. I’m watching this unfold in my own home this year with one of my teenage grandsons. Accepting responsibility is not always easy.

Let me share a powerful quote from an old friend, Oliver DeMille. “Freedom is the powerful, essential ingredient required for the development of courage. Students may become comfortable with being told what to learn and when to learn it. They may feel some fear or insecurity when offered the opportunity to choose. They may require time to engage in study of their own choosing. There is nothing more powerful for a child…than a loving and concerned mentor who frequently displays the courage to try, the courage to learn new things, the courage to endure as they struggle to acquire new skills and to flex mental muscles they didn’t know they had. Gentle invitations can be made for children to come along in the great adventure of education.”

I’ve written about the importance of parents continuing their own education (this can be in community classes, higher education, or good old-fashioned reading) because it builds confidence; confidence that the parent can learn and be an example to their family. It builds confidence in the child that they can learn by following the example their parents are setting for them. Parents need to model the behavior they want to see in their children.

I’ve also written articles on the value of seeing children’s sparks, what they are truly interested in, and how responding to those sparks can ignite a love of learning, which carries over into subjects they aren’t as passionate about. This is successful in all types of educational systems.

Ask Questions, Listen, & See the Spark

It’s hard to see sparks if we aren’t talking with and listening to our children. Mike loved math, but the only conversation he had with his parents about it was whether he had finished the worksheets. Think of all the wonderful ways this spark could be used to spur his desire to learn math on his own, to take responsibility for his education. His mom had followed up by getting books, and they were planning to visit an architect’s office to see what an architect does.

Sparks and your example are two things that can make a difference in your child’s personal education. You are the mentor for your children, regardless of where they attend school. It’s hard to convince your child that education matters if you’re not somehow engaged yourself. We can only invite our child to join us in the great adventure of education if we’re taking that adventure ourselves.

Remember what Dr. DeMille said, “There is nothing more powerful for a child than a loving and concerned mentor who frequently displays the courage to try, the courage to learn new things, the courage to endure as they struggle to acquire new skills and to flex mental muscles, they didn’t know they had. Gentle invitations can be made for children to come along in the great adventure of education.”

So, learn to tie fishhooks, learn cake decorating, take up Spanish, begin sewing, attend a community education class, or have a book in the bathroom that you read daily. Let your children see you learning. Talk to them about the challenges and joys, and they will begin to share their feelings with you. This makes for great dinner conversations. When you make this effort, it can ignite a love of learning and a desire to take responsibility. I’ve seen this work over and over again.

What will you learn or read next?

Transparency as We Begin 2026

I post once a day on my three Facebook sites and Instagram. For the most part, the posts are happy, upbeat, and about family. I do this for my readers, and I also do it as a way of documenting my family. Someday, these posts will be a series of books called 365 Days, 365 Ways to Be a Family.

Here is a post I made in September –

Two Wednesdays ago, August 20th, Don had a right hip replacement. He is recovering well, and it is a relief to have the pain gone. He has suffered for over a year while insurance, etc., was being worked out. This last Wednesday, September 3rd, I had a right hip replacement. Yikes, are we nuts or what? The fun part is that we are exercising together and doing PT together. Makes it a bit more enjoyable. I am only two days out, but I am doing VERY well! Thank goodness.

This elicited a response from an old friend: Hope you both recover quickly! I love how you make the best out of any situation. Kristine A.

Two weeks after this response from Kristine, my life went into the dumpster. I realized that most of what was happening would never be known by my family, followers, readers, and friends. Why? Because I wouldn’t talk about it or post about it. Why?

Almost thirty years ago, I began my journey to accept what God had told me when I still lived in Montana: You’re 100% responsible for your response. You cannot blame circumstances or others for how your life feels. I’ve written about this experience and the fact that it took over ten years to stop being mad about this information and to accept it; five years while still in Montana with a struggling family, and five in Utah, as I worked to understand this truth.

A few years after arriving in Utah, I took a class from Kirk Duncan at Three Key Elements. In that class, we talked about negative energy and how harmful it can be to spill yours onto someone else. They shared healthy ways to deal with negative emotions and experiences, without dumping on others. Then, I took several classes where I began learning that how I perceived a thing, my story, was within my power to control. It was a lot to take in, but I was eager to learn the truth of what I had been told by God and stop fighting against it.

Two weeks after my surgery, when I began struggling, I thought about Kristine’s comment. I was reminded how important it is that those I care about know I’m not perfect, my life is not perfect, I struggle, and I still must work and practice to live true principles.

I’ve thought a lot about this over the last few months, since my surgery, and I decided to share some of what I experienced because it may be valuable to you when things go wrong in your day or life.

It’s imperative to understand that no one’s life is perfect or pain-free, and no one responds well all the time. If we believe this, then we are less likely to compare ourselves to others because we know we do not have the whole story. This is true even of those we are close to.

After my hip surgery, I was told I would recover faster than Don because of my pre-surgery activity. I needed to bottle salsa because we were out, and my surgery was on the 3rd of September. I asked the PA if I could do this before the canning season passed. He said, “You can do anything you have energy for. Your new hip was made to stand on.” I took him at his word. I was going up and down our two steps the day I got home from surgery, doing my regular caregiving things, dozens of times. A couple of days later, I was making salsa. It turned out great.

At the end of week two, I began having deep feelings of discouragement, depression, and anger. I was diligently trying to do what my reader said I was good at, making the best of any situation. I wasn’t succeeding, and I began to struggle with my story. Because Don was pain-free and I wasn’t, I must have hurt my new hip. I was a nitwit to keep up my caregiving routine, cooking, doing laundry, etc., and not spending more time sitting and resting. My husband was incontinent after his surgery, and I had to wash 4-6 pairs of outer pants every day. My mom still had dementia and needed help with everything. I didn’t see any way out. Because I was up and about and looked great, no one realized what was happening in my head.

I couldn’t lie down without pain, so I had to sleep in a borrowed recliner for two weeks. Don was in the other one. I need darkness, and he needs light. I wake at the slightest sound, and he can sleep through anything. I wasn’t getting good sleep at night. I woke up often. I would look at the clock each time and say to myself, “Agggg, I only slept an hour and a half. What’s wrong with me?!” Every day was filled with fatigue, but I am who I am. I would get up and do what needed to be done. It’s my nature, but it added to the mental and emotional stress I was feeling. A full month passed.

Despite not understanding what was happening and feeling so discouraged, I pondered and prayed a lot, searching for information, resources, and solutions. I kept reminding myself that I have control over my story and how my life feels. I knew I needed more information than I had, that I needed help. Experience had taught me these things, and even though I wasn’t managing well, I remembered. I knew I needed to take a step.

I finally did a wise thing and sought support. I talked to my daughter. She had already begun seeing that there was a problem. She has a 19-year-old special needs daughter and three other teens. I didn’t want her to pick up any of my load, but I knew I needed help. She began doing small things whenever she came into our part of the house. She emptied the potty in Mom’s room, put more pants and Depends in the bathroom for Don, filled water glasses, did a load of dishes, etc. She asked me if we would share her evening meal, so I didn’t need to cook three times a day. She’s been sharing dinner with us for three months now, and some days I know it was a lifesaver. Beginning today, January 1, I’m taking it back. I’m ready. : )

Remember those prayers I said and the pondering I did? I was seeking information and resources. A week after taking that small step and talking with Jodie, a resource came. I have a scheduled call with my friend Joy every month. I got brave and told her the facts about where I was mentally and emotionally. She reminded me of a tool I knew about but hadn’t thought to use, tapping for health. I took her advice and put the tapping instructions on the wall across from the toilet. I began tapping every morning while saying my truth statements/affirmations. From the first day, I felt different. I could feel the anxiety, mental fog, and depression lessening.

Joy also mentioned that depression is part of healing and wasn’t happening because I was weak. What!! Could this be true? Here was new information. A light bulb went on, and I felt that what she was saying was true. In that moment, the story that I was a nitwit or had hurt myself caved in.

That same week, I got brave and mentioned how I was feeling with Laurie, the hospice nurse who comes and checks on my mom. She said, “Mary, depression is part of healing. It’s a reminder to rest and breathe. You’re OK, and it will pass.” There was my confirmation of the new information I had gotten from Joy. Laurie also told me that when we’re healing, we wake up at night because it requires energy to heal, and most of our healing occurs at night. So, waking up was also OK. Whew. Now, when I woke up, I would say to myself, “Wow, you’re doing some great healing!” The old story disappeared for good, and a new story took its place!!

Within a few days, I was feeling more myself. Within another month and a half, the fatigue was almost gone, and I could manage much better. I’m now four months out from hip surgery. Don has no hip pain, but I still do, occasionally. I know I haven’t hurt myself or overdone it; it’s just my healing process. I’m staying on top of my story. To solidify my story, when Don’s physical therapist came this last Wednesday, I asked him about it. He laughed and said something like, “You’re so busy. Sometimes your hip reminds you it’s still healing, but you’re OK.”

Here is the point

of this very transparent, vulnerable, and lengthy article – we are all doing our best, but it isn’t always enough. There are times when we need help, more information, and resources.

When I was in trouble, I utilized what I had learned from experience. When you’re struggling, they may help you.

1. Don’t dump your negative stuff on people. If you’re feeling negative, sit in the car and yell. Go outside and hug a tree and dump out all your frustration and anger, all your hurt.
2. Then begin seeking solutions. Take charge of yourself. Be willing to take a small step.
3. Ponder, pray, read, talk to a friend, whatever works for you, and seek information and resources. They are there, but you must take a step to find them. You must move. My first step was talking to Jodie. I wish I had done it in week two and not a full month out. I wouldn’t have sunk so far, suffered so much, and would have made quicker healing progress.
4. Remind yourself you’re in control of your story. If it stinks, take charge and do what you need to, to rewrite it. Stay out of blame, even if you want to blame the young P.A. for his youthful words. : ) You are 100% responsible for your response to whatever is happening.
5. Never judge yourself by what is happening on social media, in your neighborhood, at church, or among your friends. Comparing is always a slippery road to take.

The Truth

I put my best out there because I can help others when I do, but I am not always happy, gentle, cheerful, or in control. I have tough days, and I’m always working on a story of some kind. Just know we are pretty much all alike, succeeding and failing at the same time, and it’s OK. Here’s something I say to myself every morning. It’s one of my truth statements/affirmations: Every day, in every way, I am better and better.

Please know I will always tend toward the positive because I have spent over 30 years learning how to take responsibility for myself and my life, regardless of circumstances or what others do or say. I am practiced at it. Also know that I struggle still. Life has its ups and downs. There’s always something new to experience and figure out. Sometimes I’m successful in an effort, and sometimes I fail. That is life.

I want you to be brave and do what I have done. Practice taking 100% responsibility for you. Forgive others. Forgive yourself. Talk kindly to and about yourself, even when you mess up. Give others and yourself grace. Be patient when you don’t know what to do, even if it takes years to figure out. Remember, it took me ten years to stop raging and another ten to accept that I had 100% responsibility for my response. If you keep pondering, praying, learning, growing, and changing, you will find the resources and information you need.

Let this year be a year of personal growth. Welcome 2026!