Category: Present Parenting

What it Looks Like to ‘See’ Another and Why It Matters

This week, I had an experience that brought to mind the importance of letting our kids know, daily, that we see them and that they matter. It brought back many memories of families I have worked with, parents I have mentored, and the huge impact I’ve seen when moms and dads learn to ‘see’ their kids during the mundane moments of every day.

A universal human need is to matter, especially to those we love. We can all satisfy this need for others, especially in our families, in simple ways. When our children or others we cross paths with feel seen, it builds confidence and strengthens a sense of self-worth. It brings moments of joy. But what does it mean to see someone? I experienced this kind of ‘seeing’ this week.

MY EXPERIENCE

Don takes radiation treatments, and so for almost six weeks, we will be at the hospital every weekday morning. When we arrive, we pull into the valet parking lane, I get Don’s walker out, help my mom, and then we make our way into the hospital while someone parks our car. When we’re finished, we get our keys, and a sweet valet volunteer takes them and heads out to retrieve our car.

The night before this experience, we had our first frost. The next morning, leaves were falling like rain from all the trees. When we returned for our car, the valet lane was filled with leaves, and a young man was blowing them out of the road onto the lawn. However, there were so many cars that he had to keep stopping and waiting. They parked our car in the lane that is usually reserved for those who are loaded and ready to leave. Again, he had to stop. He didn’t seem frustrated, which amazed me. When we got to our car, I turned towards him, smiled, and said, “I’m sorry you have to wait for us.” He returned my smile and responded with, “That’s Ok. Not a problem.” Then I busied myself getting Mom and the walker into the car. As I prepared to enter our vehicle, I heard this young man holler, “You have a good day!” What? I turned, smiled, and told him to do the same. He had kept us in his sight for a few extra minutes so he could wish us well as we drove off. I can tell you, I felt seen.

This experience touched me so much that I did a U-turn and went back. I parked and walked to where he was. I told him that I appreciated his taking notice. I told him I was a writer and wanted to share this experience with my readers because when we ‘see’ each other, it matters. He was willing to let me take a picture of us. He was all smiles and told me I was special. I could tell from his face that he felt special, too.

Can you see the simplicity of this moment and its value? This is what can and needs to happen in families multiple times a day.

How can that be done?

It requires that we take time as we move through our day to ‘see’ our children. If possible, say goodbye at the door when they leave. Smile and say, “Glad you’re home,” when they return. Touch an arm and smile as you pass in the hall. No words needed. Pat the back of a child doing the dishes or folding laundry, then go on your way. Give a word of encouragement and a smile to someone doing their homework. Look in a bedroom door of someone cleaning their room and smile encouragement or say, “You’re doing a good job.” If your child is sitting on the couch watching TV, sit by them, pat a knee, and smile. Then get up and go. Rub a back while sitting at church or while waiting at an appointment. The list goes on. This works even with teens.

IT’S A PRACTICE

Each of these interactions takes less than a minute and can be done all day long if we understand their value. It isn’t just about being nice. It isn’t about being a parent. It’s about letting another person know that they’re seen and that they matter.

This is a practice. The more you do it, the better you get and the more seen your kids feel.

Learning Play – Creating a Rain Stick

The Spark

I was watching Jack, almost 3, and Mary, who was 10 months old. It was getting crazy. I was trying to write an article and keep the Christmas Tree from tipping over for the third time that day. I began asking myself, “What can I get Jack interested in?” We have a large rain stick in the living room, so I got it out.

Jack was fascinated. He tipped it upside down many times to hear it “rain”. I asked him if he knew how the rain stick worked. He didn’t. So, I used my fingers to explain how there were crossed spines inside and small seeds. When the seeds hit the spines, they made the sound. I could see he was a bit confused.

Figuring It Out

“Jack, do you know what a cactus is?” “No?” “I’ll bet we can find one on the computer.” (I didn’t have any books on cacti in my library.) We went to the computer and pulled up some pictures of cacti. I explained that when the cactus dies, the arms can be made into rain sticks before they dry. I showed him some cacti with long spines and explained that the spines are pushed into the dead cactus. We got our rain stick, and I was able to let him feel the ends of the spines in the stick.

With Jack on one knee and Mary on the other, we googled making a rain stick. The first thing up was a video series showing how to make a rain stick from a cardboard tube. We watched the video on how to choose a tube. We watched how to insert the spines, which were made of nails, pins, or toothpicks. We watched the first part on covering the tube ends, and finished off with the video on what to put inside.

Jack was fascinated and watched all the videos. He didn’t get bored or wiggly. I helped him stay tuned in by having mini-conversations. “Look, Jack, there are three lengths of tubes. Which size would you choose?” “Hey, look, she is using nails and a hammer. You would like to hammer nails, I bet.” “See those toothpicks, they would make a really different sound.” It went on and on, and he was fully engaged with how it was done. (The hardest part so far was keeping Mary’s hands busy and off the keyboard!)

Creating Our Rainstick

“You know what, Jack, I’ll bet we can make a rain stick.” “Yeahhhhh”, he said. We pulled out our really great junk box and found a long tube that we thought might work. I handed it to Jack, he put it up to his eye and said, “Hey, it’s my looker looker”; so much for the rain stick. LOL

We took our tube, some straight pins, and duct tape to the kitchen. Jack was content to watch me make the rain stick. He tried pushing in a pin, but decided it hurt his thumb. We talked about dead cacti, thorny spines, and rain sticks while I pushed in pins and taped on an end. Jack chose red lentils and rice to put inside.

He was interested in how the spines looked from the inside of the tube. He understood now what I had been showing him with my fingers, and he showed it back to me. Then I taped the other end and covered the whole thing with duct tape. A rain stick is normally covered with paper or cloth and then painted or decorated, but I wanted to be sure those pesky pins didn’t come out.

Jack excitedly turned it over. It didn’t “rain”. There was just a spattering thunk. Hmmmmm. He tried it a few times. Then he looked at me and, with a serious face, said, “It’s too little,” (meaning short). He had figured out that there was no rain sound because the tube was too short. Amazing! Aren’t children smart?

I told him that we could construct a rain stick out of three toilet paper tubes taped together. He was all for that and rummaged in the junk box for the tubes. Then his enthusiasm waned. He and Mary busied themselves with trucks on the living room carpet while I taped the tubes together. Then I called Jack in and told him I was going to use toothpicks this time and showed him how it would work. Then he was off again to Mary and the trucks. I finished the tube and called Jack in to put the rice inside. I finished taping the ends and covered them with duct tape. Then I called Jack, and he gave it a try. His face beamed when it “rained.”

When his mom returned home, he showed her the rain stick, and I explained about the dead cactus. She said, “Jack knows about cacti. Remember the story about the boy and his bottom.” A wide grin spread over Jack’s face as he recalled the Dr. Seuss story about a boy who sat on a cactus. Now it all came together in his mind.

It was a great time and took only about forty minutes from start to finish; just a mere 40 minutes, and Jack learned so much and had a lot of fun. Then I went back to my article, and Jack and Mary played with the trucks till their mom got home.

Helping children LOVE learning is about catching a spark from a child (in this case, seeing Jack’s interest in the rain stick), then responding.

Learning play doesn’t require a great amount of time, expensive supplies, or a perfect result to be worth it. So, play and learn!

Nurturing Leadership Skills in Children: Parent-Led Approaches

Today, I’m sharing an article written by my friend, Laura Pearson. I’ve watched my daughter, Jodie, do much of what Laura has shared in this well-written article, so I can appreciate the value of the counsel. I know this information will be helpful to both you and your children. Enjoy. : )

Leadership isn’t reserved for boardrooms or political arenas—it’s a skill set that can begin forming in the sandbox, the classroom, and the kitchen table. Parents hold a unique position to influence this growth, helping their children learn how to inspire others, take responsibility, and navigate challenges with confidence. By embedding leadership opportunities into everyday life, you can set your child on a path toward self-assured, compassionate decision-making. Below are a handful of approaches that blend warmth, guidance, and practical skill-building.

Encourage Initiative and Exploration

Kids often need permission to take the first step toward independence. That could be proposing a new family game night, organizing their school supplies in a way that works for them, or even trying a recipe without help. Letting kids make decisions safely builds their sense of agency while allowing you to provide a safety net. The goal isn’t to shield them from every challenge, but to create opportunities where their choices have visible outcomes—good or bad—so they can learn to weigh options, predict consequences, and adapt. These low-risk leadership opportunities help them grow more confident.

Demonstrating Leadership Through Continued Education

One of the most impactful ways to teach leadership is to demonstrate that growth is a continuous process. Enrolling in various nursing bachelor’s degree options not only opens doors for your own career but also sends a clear message to children about the importance of dedication and self-improvement. Balancing coursework with family and professional responsibilities models perseverance, strategic planning, and the ability to prioritize effectively. It shows that leaders are willing to challenge themselves, adapt, and commit to long-term goals. When kids watch a parent work hard to achieve something meaningful, they learn that leadership is as much about action as it is about aspiration.

Embrace imperfection and accountability

Many children equate leadership with being flawless. In reality, good leaders are willing to acknowledge mistakes and learn from them. If your child forgets to bring their homework home or mishandles a group project, resist the urge to rescue them immediately. Instead, focus on talking openly about mistakes with empathy—yours and theirs. Sharing a time you made an error, how you fixed it, and what you learned reinforces the idea that accountability is a strength, not a weakness. This approach normalizes imperfection, helping them see that growth often happens in the recovery process.

Foster Resilience Through Real Ventures

Nothing builds resilience quite like pursuing a challenging goal in the real world. Encourage your child to test their skills outside of home and school, whether through a bake sale, a neighborhood dog-walking service, or a charity fundraiser. When you support young entrepreneurs’ real ventures, you help them develop persistence, creativity, and the ability to troubleshoot under pressure. Even small projects can teach budgeting, customer service, and time management—all vital leadership skills.

Build Communication, Teamwork, and Critical Thinking

Leadership isn’t just about making decisions; it’s also about working well with others and thinking clearly under pressure. Sports teams, school clubs, and volunteer projects all offer ways in which teamwork strengthens communication skills. These experiences train them to lead by collaboration, fostering an environment where everyone feels heard and valued.

Allow Choice and Agency Without Fear of Failure

One of the hardest but most valuable lessons for young leaders is that failure isn’t final—it’s feedback. Whether picking a science fair topic or organizing a small group activity, let them own the process. Letting children learn from failure builds resilience and encourages them to take thoughtful risks. Your role is to guide reflection afterward, helping them identify what worked, what didn’t, and what they’d try differently.

Nurturing leadership in children doesn’t require grand gestures or specialized programs. It’s about weaving responsibility, agency, and empathy into the fabric of everyday life. By modeling strong values, encouraging initiative, embracing mistakes, supporting real-world challenges, fostering teamwork, and allowing room for failure, you equip your child with skills they’ll carry into every stage of life.

Leadership, after all, begins at home—one choice, one conversation, and one opportunity at a time.

Discover transformative insights and practical tips for busy parents at Mary Ann Johnson Coach, where meaningful conversations and learning experiences await!

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Learning Play – Sewing

In 2012, the week after Christmas, Don and I traveled to Colorado to visit our grandkids. We loved and missed our daughter and her husband, but we went to see the grands! I’m always grateful for the time we took, in those early days, to spend time with them. Ashley, the grand in this story, is now in her mid-twenties and a wonderful hairdresser. They grow so fast, and you can’t reclaim their childhood. Hence, the perilous drive in the winter. : )

Grandma, can you help me make this?

Ashley was nine and needed a bag to carry her scriptures to church. She and her mom searched but couldn’t find one they liked. So, they bought a kit. I hadn’t been in the house 30 minutes when I was shown the kit and asked, “Grandma, can you help me make this?” I was all over that. I did a lot of sewing while raising our seven children, and although it was a lot of work, I enjoyed it. I taught the youngest two to sew in the days we homeschooled.

It was interesting that my daughter came in during the project and said, “I’m so glad you are helping her with this.” Here is an aside that doesn’t have anything to do with sewing but has everything to do with enjoying sewing with children. This type of activity can be challenging, as Marie’s comment showed, because we usually don’t structure time and then remain present while we assist and teach. When you decide to help a child with a project, honor that time, free your mind of everything but the child and the project. When you learn to do this, you will enjoy it more.

Children are fun to work with when that is the goal. They’re easy to please. They just need you to focus for whatever amount of time you have determined to give them. This project could have been completed in three 30-minute sessions. That might work better for a busy mom. I was on vacation, so we could take all day if we wanted to. Lucky us!

Learning to Read Directions Is Important

We began by looking at the box. We talked about the picture of the bag. We got everything out and compared the contents with the contents on the direction sheet. I helped Ashley read the directions, and we took it one step at a time. However, despite this wise start, at one point we moved ahead without reading the directions. Opps, mistake. We didn’t hem the top when the pieces were separate, so I had the opportunity to show Ashley how to sew a circular piece of material. : ) Reading directions is a very good thing to learn, and we talked about that.

Gosh, I’m Learning A Lot!

As we worked, we discussed many new words. I would ask Ashley what a word meant, she would take a guess, and then I would give a more complete definition. We had words like fray, embellishment, yoyo (not the toy), wrong side, right side, flair, feed dog (I love that term! So cool), pressure foot, bobbin, straight pin vs. safety pin, etc. About halfway through, Ashley said in a very excited voice, “Gosh, I’m learning a lot!” Kids always learn more when they are engaged.

As we worked, Ashley commented, “This is sorta like when we learned about crystals.” It sorta was. We began with one thing and learned many other things. That’s the cool part about being present with a child. Learning flows because conversation happens.

Here’s a Tip:

When I sew with a young child who has never used a sewing machine, I stand behind them, tell them their job is to push the material forward into the feed dog, and keep a straight line. Then I worry about the pedal. That way, they learn to do one thing before trying to do two.

We got to practice some hand sewing because this cute bag had an embellishment called a yoyo, a small material circle used to make a yoyo quilt. She also learned to sew on a button. All in all, we had a great afternoon, learned a lot, and Ashley thought I was the best grandma in the world; and in fact, I was!!! Even now, I think Ashley feels the same.

Anyway, I’m holding on to the story that she does. : )

Learning Play – Chemistry Via a Child’s Spark – Part 2

Part 2

of the wonderful experience I had with my Colorado grands in the summer of 2012, as we embarked on our chemistry adventure.

The adult books we got from the library had hundreds of pictures of crystals with very long names. Ashley worked on sounding out dozens of them. We found an amazing picture that showed crystals that were transparent, translucent, and opaque. Wow, a follow-up to the ‘mini conversation’ we had had earlier. We spent a few minutes selecting items from the library that fit each description. Windows were transparent, colored glass was translucent, and the door frames were opaque (sorta).

We collect rocks, we wear rocks, and we eat rocks!

We saw a picture of a rock collection in an egg carton. Right away, they began discussing where we could go to find good rocks to make our own rock collection. The girls thought it would be fun to find the rocks and then figure out if they were igneous or sedimentary.

There was a chart in both the adult books and the kids’ book showing the softest rock, talc, and the hardest rock, diamond. They couldn’t believe there were ground-up rocks in body power and that wedding rings contained rocks. We read a book on the history of salt, which is a crystal. Ashley and Lizzy thought it was funny that we eat a rock, of sorts, on our food.

We were at the library poring over the books for about an hour and a half. When it was time to go, Lizzy said, “Grandma, shouldn’t we take some of these books home so we can look at them some more?” It was Saturday afternoon, a beautiful day. They were on vacation at Grandma’s. The neighbor girl they loved to play with was home. Yet here were a six-year-old and an eight-year-old diligently learning about rocks and crystals. They were absorbed in the information. It was fun. They LOVED it.

On the walk home from the library, the girls were busy searching the ground for specimens to add to the rock collection they planned on making. When we got home, our sugar crystals had already begun to form. It was exciting. We scooped a few out and sampled them. Yummmmm.

While I was making dinner, which was peanut butter and honey sandwiches, we noticed that the honey had formed some sugar crystals. The girls compared them to the crystals forming in their “sugar jars”. We discussed the fact that you can melt sugar and honey crystals by heating them, but that it would take a much higher temperature to melt quartz crystals.

Books over scooters. What!!

Later, I found Lizzy and Ashley sitting at the bottom of the stairs, looking at the books they brought home from the library. They had originally gone out to ride their scooters, but the books were so compelling that they never made it to the driveway. They were comparing the crystals in each other’s books, chatting away about the shapes, sizes, and colors.

When I went to check on them next, they had finally made it to the driveway and were buzzing around the parking lot on their scooters. Ashley hollered to me and said, “Grandma, we are finding crystals.” Lizzy asked me, “What are those people called who dig and look for rocks?” “Miners”, I replied. Then Lizzy said, “We could become miners, Grandma, and find crystals.” Ashley said, “I told her we could be scientists and study crystals.” Then she thought a moment, “Yeah, we could be partners finding and studying crystals.” I realized that their imaginative play that evening had centered on what we had learned during the day. When that happens, you know learning has been impactful.

Before bed, we read another children’s book about rocks, which reminded us of all the new words and facts we had learned. They were excited for the coming day. We planned to use the hardness scale and scratch chalk with a penny. Chalk is a 1 on the hardness scale, and a penny is a three. We had decided to collect 10 rocks for their new collection and determine if they are igneous, sedimentary, or metamorphic. The activities we accomplished on this special visit weekend could be spread out over several weeks for your children. It doesn’t need to take up an entire weekend. 🙂

The Result

This is the result you want when you see a Spark and respond. You want to see enthusiasm for the topic and excitement in the learning process. You want the learning to carry over into play and life. Recognizing a Spark and then responding are skills that any adult can learn. They facilitate a parent’s ability to inspire their children and help them feel excitement when learning new things. We had a wonderful adventure. It was fun.

They don’t know everything about volcanoes and how rocks and crystals are made, but what they do know, they will remember.

They LOVED learning some chemistry while making crystals!

Learning Play – The Nothing Special Day

Back in the day, when my grands were small, I did many learning activities with them. I enjoyed it and so did they. As I mentioned earlier this spring, I’m sharing some of those past learning activities with you because you can have as much enjoyment and fun with your children or grands as I did. Sometimes all we need is an idea, and then we can run with it. So here goes!

I don’t want you to get the idea that Learning Play always requires a lot of thought or special activities. Sometimes you just get together, play, and learn. It doesn’t always require fabulous, well-researched information. There are times when we want to kick back and rest while remaining consistent in our efforts to bond, enjoy, and learn. Then, there are times when an intervening circumstance requires that we do something that takes less planning time.

This activity was motivated by intervening circumstances, and I was tired. : ) I wasn’t going to stress out, but rather, have fun, join in a family activity, and be together. I didn’t do any big planning. I didn’t go to the library for fabulous books. I didn’t research the internet for crafts or projects. I didn’t have a wonderful topic in mind that I wanted to introduce to my grandchildren.

First, We Cook and Then We Paint

On my way to my grandchildren’s home, I picked up a package of biscuits. I thought it would be fun to make cinnamon snakes. When I got there, I announced that we were going to paint and cook. Jack replied, “OK, Grandma. First, we cook and then we paint.” So that is where we began.

There was no reason to make cinnamon snakes. I didn’t have a book on snakes or any intention of learning about snakes. I just knew that the children enjoyed cooking. So, we began our day with cinnamon snakes. I didn’t realize that rolling dough into a snake would take more dexterity than they had. It required practice, and an occasional snake hit the floor. When working with children, be prepared for a bit of dirt in the finished project! LOL

At that time, Don, my husband, was creating an air gun shooting range for himself. He had cut out several small wooden animals for targets. That was our painting project, painting Grandpa’s animals so he could put them in his range.

I gave each child a brush, a large piece of paper, and a wooden animal. We poured the paint right on the paper. When they were done and wanted another animal and a different color, we traded papers. Grandpa was very satisfied with the result. This particular range wouldn’t have his usual perfection, but it had memories and was fun to use.

I had discovered an old book, Where Everyday Things Come From, by Aldren Watson, in my home library. (Available on Amazon) It had no cover and had been read many times by children over the years. The explanations weren’t scientific, and the pictures weren’t precise, just fun. It told, in simple language, that the things we use every day, such as plastic, coal, glass, rubber, and electricity, can come from unexpected sources. The kids enjoyed the book.

I had a coloring page of a darling ladybug. I thought we would review what we had learned earlier when we studied ladybugs. No dice! No one wanted to color or talk about ladybugs. Not even Maggie, who loves coloring pages!

That was it. We had a fun time and enjoyed being together. We helped Grandpa out.

It was a peaceful Learning Play Day.

Learning Play – Inventions and Inventors

One day in 2011, I found the most amazing book at the library!!! I happened across it accidentally. It was about Leonardo Da Vinci and the amazing visions he had. But that wasn’t all. The book showed how, in time, all his inventive ideas were created by other people and who those people were. Oh my gosh, I wanted to share this with my grands.

However, it was a book with lots of words and way over their heads. I pondered what to do. My daughter suggested I help them understand what an invention is. Voila, a perfect solution to my dilemma. So that’s what I did.

The Creation Box

We had so much fun. I took my creation box, a cardboard box that I collect junk in – plastic ware, Styrofoam cups, old keys, buttons, wiggly eyes, toilet paper tubes, paper towel tubes, paper clips, popsicle sticks, washers, Styrofoam balls and cones, yarn, whatever comes my way that would otherwise be thrown out. I mean, a grandma (or mom) can use this sort of thing. : )

I began by asking Jack if he knew what an invention was. He said he thought it was a place to go. I told them that an invention was an idea in someone’s head that was then turned into something real. I suggested we look at some inventions. We looked at the pictures in the Leonardo Da Vinci book. I worried they would be bored because it was a bit over their heads, but they loved it! We examined the old drawings and how the actual invention appeared after it was created. I shared that Leonardo had people making his inventions move and work, but that the real inventions used electricity and motors.

Interested in Inventions

We looked at pictures of old TV sets and Philo Farnsworth, the inventor of television. The kids couldn’t believe how different they looked today, and Jack was enthralled with the name Philo. We looked at a book about the Day-Glo brothers and the brilliant paint colors they invented.

The children were excited about all these wonderful inventions. Then I asked them if they would like to make an invention. Oh my, then they were very excited. We sorted through all the items scattered on the table from the creation box and began putting them together. I had brought the hot glue gun with me because I knew, as little as they are, that regular glue wouldn’t work. Because of the ages of my grands, I had to do all the gluing.

Our Super-duper Rocket-propelled Robot

We blew up balloons first because they wanted balloons on their invention. When we began, they didn’t have an idea of what we were making, but as we worked, they finally decided we were creating a robot.

Jack’s “All Alone” Invention

The best part of the day was when a light went on in Jack’s brain. He saw the Styrofoam cone and a long tube. He put the cone on top of the tube and realized he had made a rocket. He was so excited about his own “all alone” invention.

We glued the rocket to our robot. Now we had a rocket-powered robot. It was a fun learning day, and they will remember what an invention is and that they may grow up and invent something themselves.

If you have older children, it would be wonderful to do this project and then study one new inventor each week or month, for the whole summer. There are all kinds of experiments, projects, and crafts that you can do to demonstrate and mimic what the inventors did. Get your older kids off technology and get them thinking. It will improve their summer. : )

Books About Inventions For Kids

The Day-Glo Brothers by Chris Barton
Neo Leo by Gene Barretta
The Boy Who Invented TV by Kathleen Krull
So You Want To Be An Inventor? By Judith St. George – A wonderful book about the traits of inventors, some of which aren’t valued, like daydreaming. : )
Now & Ben: The Modern Inventions of Benjamin Franklin by Gene Barretta
The Kid Who Invented the Popsicle: And Other Surprising Stories about Inventions by Don L. Wulffson
Brainstorm! The Stories of Twenty American Kid Inventors by Tom Tucker
Kids Inventing! A Handbook for Young Inventors by Susan Casey
Girls Think of Everything: Stories of Ingenious Inventions by Women by Catherine Thimmesh
The Kids’ Invention Book (Kids’ Ventures) by Arlene Erlbach

Inventions Made by Kids

Back in 2011, Allan Chu, 17 years old, invented a way to speed up the Internet! He was tired of how slow it could be, so he took matters into his own hands. He invented an algorithm that compresses data and allows information on the internet to be presented much more quickly. An algorithm is a step-by-step mathematical procedure that solves a problem, especially by a computer. Allan entered a math, science, and technology competition and won first place and $3,000! Quite an accomplishment for such a young person!

If you have ever thought about inventing something yourself, you don’t need to be a math and science genius to devise something clever. Have you ever heard of a Popsicle? Well, in 1905, an 11-year-old boy named Frank Epperson invented it. He accidentally left his favorite fruit drink with a stirrer in it outside on the porch overnight. When he awoke, the drink was frozen, and he found a delicious new treat. He went on to patent his idea and is the creator of the Popsicle, Fudgsicle, Creamsicle, and Dreamsicle!

Inventions are worth learning about and fun to make! Give it a try

and have some summer fun.

Learning Play – The Circus

Four of the finest clowns
in our fair city!

The Circus is in town!! Back in the 50s, that news brought a shiver to my spine and a smile to my face. I loved going to the circus. It was held outside in a large tent every year. There were elephants, trapeze artists, and lions being tamed. Everything smelled of sawdust, cotton candy, peanuts, and candied apples. It was an exciting event!

As I grew older, the circus changed. Long gone was the tent, replaced by huge arenas in large buildings. They seemed to come around less often. Children didn’t know as much about them, and they weren’t a yearly, long-awaited event that the whole town looked forward to.

I didn’t think any grandchildren I lived near had ever been to a circus. WOW! At the library, I found a couple of books and decided we would study circuses and then have one of our own.

What happens at a circus?

Who comes, who performs, do you eat anything, what in the world is a clown? These were questions we were going to answer in grandma school.

When I arrived at my grandchildren’s home (before we began sharing the same living space), Mary, who was 2, reached me first. That was usually the case because she loves immersive learning. She wanted to know what was in my orange basket! She delighted in pulling everything out. She found large glasses, boas, bow ties, and makeup. She was excited about all of it, but the boas. Mary was afraid of the feathers. (Years later, we got chickens, and she was the one who could catch them. Her fear of feathers was gone.)

Keep your materials simple

We began the day by looking at pictures of clowns and talking about who they are and what they do. They are funny, do tricks, and like to make people laugh. We decided to be clowns for the day. Out came the white face paint and lipstick. The white face paint was Halloween makeup I bought many years ago. It worked well enough. For red, we used what grandma had, lipstick. As I say, keep it simple. Then we tried on all the glasses, boas, ties, and other costume items. Jack fell in love with a hat and a bow tie. He asked me if he could have them. I said he could surely borrow them. “I don’t like borrow” he said, “I want to have them!” LOL

I hadn’t found many books about the circus at our small library, so I ordered some from other libraries. I never got them picked up before our circus day. That’s how it is in real life, sometimes we are on it and sometimes we aren’t! We managed with what we had, and I made a circus book. I found a terrific site of circus pictures, printed them off, and put them into a binder. (Jack, Mary, and Maggie used it until it fell apart.) It also made a great circus coloring book.

We looked at the pictures and discussed what was happening in each one, and if we would like to do that trick.

What We Did in Our Circus

1. Did you know that in some circus acts, they have dogs that dress up and do tricks? Well, Maggie, Jack, and Mary have a dog. We dressed him up to see if he could do a trick. He did! He peed on the floor from fright. We let him go and went on with our circus without him. It’s a good thing we still had clowns, us. : )
2. We decided to walk a tightrope. We used a rake handle for our tightrope. (The rake head helped the stick not roll.) The children loved walking the tight rope and did a good job. They were real performers.
3. We also decided to learn to juggle; throw one ball up, try to catch it, and run after it. Up, try to catch it, run after it. Then we tried two balls. We weren’t good, but it was fun.
4. We talked about what you eat at the circus, and then we ate popcorn and cotton candy. The cotton candy was a hit because none of the kids had ever had any. Mom had those hyped up kids for the rest of the day. Thank you, Grandma! : )

We ended our day sitting quietly and reading about a little bunny who went to the circus and billed his mom as the Meanest Mother on Earth! It was a funny book and a very fun day.

Later, the family watched Toby Tyler: Or Ten Weeks with a Circus. (I loved it as a kid, and their family did too!)

If you have mixed ages, including older children, then check out the non-fiction books. They could make a circus out of paper, draw a circus, or do some serious face painting. They could make a circus scene in a shoe box. Your older kids might like putting a family circus together with more acrobatic acts, bike riding, etc.

Books, Books, Books

Short picture books about the Circus for kids:

Secret Circus by Johanna Wright
Sidewalk Circus by Paul Fleischman
Circus 1-2-3 by Megan Halsey
Sing a Song of Circus by Ward Schumaker
Peter Spier’s Circus by Peter Spier
The Twelve Circus Rings by Chwast Seymour
The Midnight Circus by Peter Collington

Picture books with longer stories about the circus:

Clown of God by Tomie DePaola- This is where we got our idea for our clown makeup. A very touching book, my grandchildren loved.
The Day the Circus Came to Town by Melody Carlson – A story about making your own decisions and not being influenced by friends.
Little Rabbit and the Meanest Mother on Earth by Kate Klise – Find out what happens when you don’t clean your playroom!
Circus Ship by Chris Van Dusen
To The Big Top by Jill Esbaum
Dimity Dumpty: The Story of Humpty’s Little sister by Bob Graham
Tree Ring Circus by Adam Rex
Last Night I Dreamed a Circus by Maya Gottfried
Madeline and the Gypsies by Ludwig Bemelmans
If I Ran the Circus by Dr Seuss

Circus Easy Readers:

Circus Fun by Margaret Hillert
Hurry Up! by Carol Murray
Sawdust and Spangles: The Amazing Life of W.C. Coup by Ralph Covert
World’s Greatest Elephant by Ralph Helfer
Sara Joins the Circus by Thera Callahan
Millicent the Magnificent by Alice Bach – Millicent is a charming story that will help children appreciate the wonders of classical music.
C is for Clown by Stan Berenstain
Circus of the Wolves by Jack Bushnell

Circus Non-fiction books:

Juggler by Caroline Arnold
Parades by Eugene Baker
Face Painting by Clare Beaton
Jumbo by Rhoda Blumberg
Let’s Be Circus Animals by Kathy Christensen
Let’s Be Circus Stars by Kathy Christensen
How to Draw the Circus by Pamela Johnson
Circus Time: How to Put on Your Own Show by Connie Klayer
Horses in the Circus Ring by Lynn Saville
What Happens at the Circus by Arthur Shay
Clowning Around: Jokes About the Circus by Rick Walton
Paper Circus: How to Create Your Own Circus by Robin West
The Great and Only Barnum by Candace Fleming – Perfectly captures the spirit of an era, the spirit of the circus, and the spirit of P. T. Barnum himself.

For older children

Circus Junior Fiction:

Travelers By Night by Vivien Alcock
Great American Elephant Chase by Gillian Cross
The Secret Elephant of Harlan Kooter by Dean Harvey
Jelly’s Circus by Dean Hughes
The Runaway Clown by Lois Johnson
Toby Tyler: or Ten Weeks With a Circus by James Otis
Tybee Trimble’s Hard Times by Lila Perl
Incredible Jumbo: A Novel by Barbara Smucker
Miss Know It All and the Three-Ring Circus by Carol Beach York

Our immersive learning was fun, and a few years later, they got to a real circus, and were prepared. When we help children by immersing them in the learning, they have a ball, and it stays with them. You can’t and won’t do this all the time, but what if you did something like this once a month for a family activity? Aside from having a ton of fun, you will build great memories and help children love learning.

It’s worth the effort and time.

Introducing ‘Learning Play’ – Cows

When I first began writing and publishing articles, it was in 2010. My grands, the ones I still live with, were all under five. As their grandma, I wanted to find ways to play and connect. I’m not a board game person! Tea parties and dress up are not on my list of fun things! The truth is, I like learning. I always have. I thought a lot about how I could ‘play’ with my grands and make it work for all of us. What I came up with was learning for fun. Every Tuesday, for several years, we would gather and play/learn. They looked forward to it and occasionally would tell me what they wanted to know or ask about at our next Tuesday session. It was a hit and was called Grandma School. : )

I’ve been moving articles from my old site to this new home for nine years, come May 2025. Why has it taken so long? Well, I always have new experiences and lessons to share. And I had over 600 articles on the old site. That’s a lot of rewriting. : ) Not everything applies or will be shared here, but there are fun things on that old site, especially when it comes to learning with kids and making it fun.

So, over the summer, I’m going to share many of the cool lessons I taught my grands and the tools I used to do it. If you have kids under eleven or twelve, it will give you summer fodder to keep them occupied and entertained while they learn and help chase away summer boredom. It will also help you move them from technology to imagination, a very good thing to do now and then.

Another Idea

If this is a family activity, then those over twelve can help those under twelve. You’ll be surprised how involved they get when they are doing the teaching. If all your kids are over twelve, then share these cool articles with someone in your neighborhood or family who has younger children or grands. At the bottom of this article are great resources for extended learning and learning for your older children. You’ll be amazed at the possibilities.

Using this ‘learning play’ with my grands created FUN times and built terrific memories. Enjoy, as I roll them out again.

LET’S BEGIN WITH COWS

The study of mammals is called mammalogy. This is a branch of zoology, which is the study of animals. One Tuesday, we studied a mammal – cows.

Jack’s first question on this Tuesday was, “What are we going to learn today, Grandma?” So, we played a guessing game to see if they could figure it out. When I finally said, “We’re going to learn about cows today,” Jack yelled, “Woo-hoo, Cows!” Kids are soooo easy to please.

As usual, we started with books about cows. We didn’t actually read the books, but we talked about the pictures and I told them fun cow facts, such as, “Did you know a cow has four stomachs. You only have one, but a cow has four!!” That type of comment is usually followed by a question such as “Why Grandma?” Then we get to learn a bit more. Jack’s favorite cow fact was: “Daddy cows are called bulls and they go Moo really, really loud.” I did such a great daddy cow impersonation that it sent Jack into gales of laughter.

Books About Cows

I know that many people have stopped using libraries, but I still do, and that’s where our great books came from. You can find stories, pictures, and facts online, but kids like holding books and looking at the pictures. So, in case you want to take a short trip to the library, here is a list of great books. They will give you lots of cool facts to share, and they have fun pictures.

• Cows in the Parlor: A Visit to the Dairy Farm by Cynthia McFarland
• My Cows by Heather Miller
• Milk: From Cow to Carton by Aliki
• Cows on the Farm by Mari C. Schuh
• Life on a Cattle Farm By Judy Wolfman
• Cattle Kids: A Year on the Western Range, Cat Urbigkit
• Cows, by Rachael Bell

A Cow Activity

After the books, we did a cow activity. I had created a picture sheet on my computer that showed cool foods that are made from cow’s milk: cheese, cream, ice cream, milk for cereal, cottage cheese, sour cream, etc. I also had the real item on the table, if we had it. We looked at the pictures, talked about each item, and then tasted it. Of course, we all liked the cookie dough best. (It has milk in it!)

A Cow Game

We created a fun game by cutting two copies of the food sheet into separate pictures. Then we played Memory. The kids enjoyed it so much that they played it with their mom and dad later.

A Cow Craft

We made cow door hangers, a very simple project, that I am sure you can figure out how to do from looking at the picture. But just in case you want directions or your older children want to make a talking cow, click here.

We had the most fun learning to use scissors. This was new for the kids. Jack tried it the traditional way, but then switched to using two hands and having me hold and turn the paper. Special scissors with 4 finger holes allowed me to help Maggie cut her own cow spots. She was thrilled. (Remember, Maggie, who is now eighteen, has severe cerebral palsy, so doing anything with help thrilled her and still does.)

If I am missing an item, I don’t run to the store. I make do. Simple is what made these types of play dates doable for me, then and now. We had large paper plates, but cut the smaller circle from tagboard. We had skinny chenille stems, so our tails weren’t as fluffy as the model cow’s, but no one noticed. We didn’t have any little bells lying around, so we cut them out of paper. I think our cow door hanger craft turned out every bit as lovely as the one on the web!

A Cooking Activity

We ended the day by making mac and cheese. Cooking was a favorite activity, so everyone helped. The kids liked tasting the powdered cheese. We had our mac and cheese for lunch, and it was delicious. Maggie, Jack, and Mary decided that having cows in our world is a very good thing.

Extend The Learning

While we ate our mac and cheese, I read a silly story called The Cow Loves Cookies by Karma Wilson and Marcellus Hall. If you want to extend your ‘cow learning’, then explore some of these other resources – easy readers and chapter books.

• Sixteen Cows by Lisa Wheeler
• The Story of Ferdinand by Munroe Leaf
• Kiss the Cow! by Phyllis Root and Will Hillenbrand
• Counting Cows by Michelle Medlock Adams and Mark Meyers
• The Cow That Went OINK by Bernard Most
• Donna O’Neeshuck Was Chased by Some Cows by Bill Grossman and Sue Truesdell
• George Washington’s Cows by David Small
• Moonstruck: The True Story of the Cow Who Jumped Over the Moon by Gennifer Choldenko
• The Smallest Cow in the World (I Can Read Book 3) by Katherine Paterson and Jane Clark Brown
• The Blue Cow (Sugar Creek Gang Series) by Paul Hutchens
• The Cow in the House: Level 1 (Easy-to-Read, Puffin) by Harriet Ziefert and Emily Bolam
• Mrs. Wow Never Wanted a Cow (Beginner Books) by Martha Freeman and Steven Salerno

Learning for OLDER Children

You can expand your study of cows and let it take you in new directions. These books would engage older children in learning about cows.

Cow books about math:
• Whole-y Cow: Fractions Are Fun by Taryn Souders and Tatjiana Mai-Wyss
Cow books about giving:
• 14 Cows for America by Carmen Agra Deedy. The true story of a gift from a village in Kenya to the USA after 9/11.
Cow tales from other countries:
• The Silver Cow: A Welsh Tale by Susan Cooper and Warwick Hutton
• Hamish the Highland Cow by Natalie Russell
• The Cow-Tail Switch: And Other West African Stories by Harold Courlander, George Herzog and Madye Lee Chastain
Cows in history:
• Dadblamed Union Army Cow by Susan Fletcher. The story about a cow that marched (clopped?) in the Civil War with the Fifty-Ninth Regiment of Indiana Volunteers, giving milk to the soldiers. Go here for facts about this book.
Cows in Art:
• Learn to Draw Farm Animals: Step-by-step instructions by Jickie Torres and Robbin Cuddy
• The Blue Rider: The Yellow Cow Sees the World in Blue (Adventures in Art) by Doris Kutschbach
Cows and English:
• Herd of Cows, Flock of Sheep: Adventures in Collective Nouns (Language Adventures Book) by Rick Walton and Julie Olson
Cows and a girl with Autism:
• Temple Grandin: How the Girl Who Loved Cows Embraced Autism and Changed the World by Sy Montgomery and Temple Grandin
Books about cows that aren’t even cows:
• Sam the Sea Cow (Reading Rainbow Books) by Francine Jacobs and Laura Kelly
• Sea Cows, Shamans, and Scurvy: Alaska’s First Naturalist: Georg Wilhelm Steller by Ann Arnold
Information about cows for kids.

I hope you take an afternoon or evening and learn about cows with your kids. I would love to see pictures and hear your stories. : )

Our Perception is Vital to Our Sense of Wellbeing Part 1

I’ve written many articles on the importance of making sure the story we tell ourselves is helpful to our sense of well-being, healthy relationships, and happiness. How we perceive something matters.

Recently, I had two experiences that cemented what I have learned in over a decade and a half of taking control of how I ‘see’ what is happening in my life, both in the past and present. I’m sharing one experience today and the other next week. They are powerful.

Stress Is a Killer!

When I began caregiving my mom 6 ½ years ago, I did a lot of reading on dementia, so I would know how to care for both of us. There was a lot of useful information. In most of the books and articles I read, I also found this counsel: “Caregiving can be extremely demanding, both physically and emotionally…Studies have shown that family caregivers are at a higher risk of mortality compared to non-caregivers. Approximately 30% of family caregivers die before the person they are caring for.” This information was so prevalent in what I read and heard from other caregivers, that I beleived it was true and it concerned me. I was caregiving three people, in a 4-generation home.

There is also a common belief in the minds of the public that stress, from any situation that is ongoing, is toxic. Stress has been blamed for catching the common cold to creating cardiovascular problems. For example, one article I read said: Stress can have significant physical and physiological effects on the body. Here are some of the key ways that stress can impact your health:

Cardiovascular System:
• Increased heart rate and blood pressure
• Dilated blood vessels
• Increased risk of heart disease, stroke, and hypertension

Endocrine System:
• Release of stress hormones (e.g., cortisol, adrenaline)
• Increased blood sugar levels
• Changes in metabolism and fat distribution
• Increased risk of obesity and type 2 diabetes

The list went on covering other body parts and organs. I wondered how I could manage what I had taken on and remain healthy. I had stress management tools and I used them, but stress is ever present when caregiving, and according to what seemed to be true, I was definitely in harm’s way.

A few years ago, someone reached out who wanted to add a new stress tool to my arsenal to help me have a healthier brain. Here’s the pitch:

S T R E S S
These 6 letters can completely ruin your brain health and create short-term memory loss. Chronic stress, the kind that has you up at night, eats away at the memory sector of your brain, the hippocampus. It causes inflammation, throws your hormones out of balance and there is a big school of medicine that believes most diseases are caused by chronic stress.
•Stress is your brain’s #1 enemy – it is the single largest reason for your memory issues
•Unless you do something to manage your stress on a daily basis your memory, and your brain health will quickly deteriorate.

Here was my response to a question the sender asked: “I am convinced that stress is the cause of my detail memory being so compromised.” I had bought into this belief about stress hook, line, and sinker.

This Was MINDBLOWING!

Last fall I listened to a Ted Talk on stress. It was mind-blowing! The title was How to Make Stress Your Friend by Kelly McGonigal, a psychologist. She told us that for years she had warned her patients about the dangers hidden in stress. But recently, she had been introduced to new research that blew her mind!

It turns out that stress, whether you are caregiving, have a tough job, or are parenting, doesn’t need to take a toll on your health. In fact, it can improve your heart and health. Yes, you heard me correctly!! Her information on how stress is good for your heart was so unexpected and came from reliable research.

McGonigal said: “Stress. It makes your heart pound, your breathing quicken, and your forehead sweat. But while stress has been made into a public health enemy, new research suggests that stress may only be bad for you if you believe that to be the case.”

One research study showed that people with the same type and amount of stress either died or lived depending on their beliefs about stress. This made me sit up and pay attention. As I researched this new idea, I read this: “With demands on time, energy, emotions, and relationships, caregiving isn’t easy. So, you might think it would take its toll on the physical health of those who care for family members with chronic conditions. But new research offers a positive surprise: Family caregivers may live longer.”

McGonigal urged us to see stress as a positive and understand its value to the body. Also, to know that what you believe about stress impacts how it ultimately affects you. And there it is–our story matters, what we say and how we perceive what is happening brings about the result we get.

Not long after I heard the TED talk, I bought the book The Upside of Stress by Dr. McGonigal. I want to understand how stress can work in my favor. I want this information deep in my soul so that I can do what I have taken on and flourish. The read is fascinating.

Has understanding this changed anything in my day-to-day life? NO. I still clean up plenty of poop. Sitting down without interruptions is rarely an option. There is plenty of frustration and annoyance. My mother’s dementia is progressing, she has had a mini-stroke, and every day is a new normal. Watching someone die is like living on a roller coaster. Don’s surgery brought 6 weeks of extra work and stress. But now, with my new story, when I feel overly stressed, I straighten up and say to myself – “Way to go. This is so good for your heart. You’re going to live to be 100!”

And you know what, I believe it.

P.S. Next week I challenge the idea that we cannot change the past. I will share an example that will show you, you can! You are going to love this!